I’m working on all these limericks for the bookstore contest here, and now I can’t stop! And they’re just getting worse!
“Blogging’s the thing!” they all say.
Thousands in cash every day!
Just upload and push,
To show baby’s fresh tush,
And your Paypal brims over; yes, way!
Oy, I’m irritating myself. Where’s a haiku when you need one?
Anyone wanna try limericking?
You’re laughing with me, yes?
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Posted in me-me-me, scratchings
Hey, didya hear? The Bookstore here is having a limerick contest (not that I could find it on their website…ahem!). Deadline is March 30th. Submit by email to staff@eagleharborbooks.com or by mail or in person.
Here’s one of mine (it’s G rated):
Frog Rock hopped to Winslow at dark.
He shopped for their flies as a lark.
Their taste wasn’t bad,
Compared to those he had had,
But he still preferred Battle Point Park’s!
I’m not sure what you win in the contest? Money? Fame? $5 certificate for toast Blackbird Bakery? I’ll take what I can get….
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Posted in Bainbridge Island, WA, brilliant ideas, events, scratchings
I’m having trouble writing anything lately. I think I’ve been reading too much blogging advice, and it just depresses me. Did you bloggers out there know these things?
1. Posting every day is passe — just clutters up people’s readers. Work the system, I say.
2. No one cares what I had for lunch. Great. How about breakfast? That might be interesting. No? In that case, I got nothing.
3. No one wants long scrolling first pages. It’s all about the “click here to read more” button. Well, Mister Smartypants, where’s all my sidebar crap supposed to go?
4. Offer your readers VALUE. Great. See #2 above.
5. Everyone loves Photoshopped stuff (OK, I don’t actually have a link for this theory, but everyone DOES love her, him, her, and her, so it must be true!). More trouble. I don’t know how to Photoshop because I don’t own Photoshop. I know, I’m lame. Or lazy. Or both.
Do you follow these tips? Do you follow any helpful, non-depressing blogging tips?
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Posted in me-me-me, scratchings
Many bloggers know there are awesome blogs and things out there, floating free for your perusal. You may have seen those lists of blogs that you may not read but should. Me, I get overwhelmed by that. If you list more than, say, 2 things, that’s 1 too many new pieces of information for me to retain. Unlike water, I have trouble retaining information. For, like, the last 4 years. Hey, that’s how old my Kid is.
Assuming I click all the links, my brain gets fried. Now which one was the funny one? the inspirational one? the shoppers one? the one that showed how to make a GOOD ponytail (where WAS that one??)?
So, in honor of lame brains like me, I’ve decided from time to time I may tell you about ONE blog or website or podcast that’s new and cool to me. I’ll call it my CHECK IT OUT feature (and I WILL be using CAPITAL LETTERS).
This first one to CHECK OUT, Vinyl Cafe podcasts, was inspired by the fact that I WAS just going to email a few friends and family about it. Then, I heard this popping sound, and a voice in my brain whispered snippily: DUH, you have A BLOG!
Vinyl Cafe, a fictional record shop with the motto “We may not be big, but we’re small.” Maybe you’ve heard of it. It plays on NPR in Seattle on Sunday afternoons. If you can’t tune in, download the free podcasts. They have true and fictional stories, musical guests and great fun, all before a live audience. While listening, you can pretend you’re in the pre-tv/all radio shows era (not that there’s anything wrong with tv, don’t get me WRONG! I could watch the Bravo channel all day long….I could, but I’d never do that! Huh.). Host Stuart McLean is a brilliant writer/performer. His stories lift you up with laughter and then wrap you in warm fuzzies. I want to be like him when I grow up. Plus, he has a cute Canadian accent.
CHECK IT OUT! Then come back and tell me that you love me it.
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Posted in brilliant ideas, life is good, scratchings
I must confess.
I’ve been on a binge. Fortunately for my ass, not the edible kind. It’s my Google Reader. I have been adding subscriptions like a madwoman. Her, and her, and him, and him and this one is good for quick laughs (for a dork like me) and this one, too (again, me=dork). Do I really need that subscription to that clay artisan site? Or the birdchick? Well, maybe.
Google Reader is the new credit card of blogs. Luckily (or unluckily??) for our national economy, it has no minimum balance or late fees. But I feel I am melting the plastic somehow every time I click that “Add subscription” button.
With each click, such hope and promise flourishes. A new knowledge, insights to improve myself or my surroundings, or just much-needed chuckles.
But with each click comes a price. As if someone else ultimately pays my credit card balance, I am acting like someone else ultimately READS all those posts. I have the same problem at the library, now that I think about it. Those dozen books seemed like a good idea at the checkout line, but did I READ them?? I take the Fifth!
Don’t even start on the free podcasts I’ve downloaded. My little ipod’s waistband is stretch to the MAX.
However, there’s always the Google Reader game aspect. Do you play? I see the list of updated sites, that looong list,occasionally glowing yellow eyes staring back. Which ones have just 1 post? First, I click those, scan, scroll and POOF! They disappear from my infernal list. Wam! Bam! Ahhhh. Triumph! List shortens. After the 1′s, I attack the 2′s. Assuming there’s time.
The partial feeds are the quickest, no doubt. Although I’m sure I miss out on the full scoop. But is that REALLY my fault? I mean, I would follow up to check, but bejeesus! there are just too many posts to catch up on most days.
Here’s the silver lining: with my crazy obsessive “add” habit, at least I have cemented my relationship with Mark. Mark Allasread, that is. Probably you know him. He gets around, that slut.
Do you have a Reader obsession? How many sites do you read subscribe to?
[Is there is a Google Reader Support Group yet?
Hi, my name is Wendy and I'm a googlereaderaholic (ok, not very catchy)....
Awareness IS the first step.]
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Posted in growth, me-me-me, questions, scratchings, venting
Okay, bloggers, you surf, you read, you might even take the time to comment. And then, occasionallllllly, you might drift back to the place you commented to see if anyone else commented on your comment.
I said occasionally. When you can remember where it was. And when you feel curious.
So, you look and……you don’t see your comment! Gone!
You wonder, maybe I didn’t actually LEAVE the comment? Maybe I was interrupted before I hit submit. Maybe I only thought about it and didn’t really do it. Maybe Big Brother Blogger zeroed me out.
OR.
Maybe someone DELETED YOU! You and your precious, clever words (and you weren’t rude or obscene or anything–Oh, was that it? too boring?)! Are bloggers deleting just ‘cuz these days? ‘Cuz they don’t like your spelling? ‘Cuz they Have The Power?
The trouble is you can’t REMEMBER. About that pesky SUBMITTING part. And there’s all that WORD VERIFICATION stuff that you can never read. And maybe even MATHEMATICAL SKILLS required.
So, should you be mad and boycott that site forever and for always, use Barbie to put vodoo curses on them, and maybe even toss a little snarkiness their way blogosphere-wise? Or, should you go with the “maybe I didn’t actually LEAVE the comment in the first place?”
Should you be up in arms? Or, not.
I’m just asking.
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Posted in growth, me-me-me, scratchings, venting
I’m over at the Velveteen Mind today guest posting. Woo hoo! My first guest post.
I confess I sort of like the freedom of boring someone else’s audience. 
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Posted in animals, me-me-me, scratchings
