Here are my top 9 tips for visiting Disneyland (oh, there are more, just email me…!):

1. Stay by the park, or in the park, or in a bush near the park. I know, I know, many have stayed, including us, a mile or two away from the park and rode the Anaheim shuttle bus, but I’ve decided next time I’d sacrifice the comfortable suite setup, to just have a mediocre or crappy tiny room that I could walk quickly over to the Mouse. Come on, you’re not here to be comfortable on vacation; you’re here to see Disneyland! This way, you’ll maximize your time and energy, especially when your spouse child is getting tired and cranky mid-afternoon. Or if there’s a late show, like Fantasmic, you’ll be more likely to pop over and check it out.

Which you should because it’s great and you probably won’t be back for years.

Alternate plan: a friend suggested staying in Dana Point, a nice beachy town and, she says, a 20 min. drive away, better setting and better bang for your buck.

2. Get a hotel with a pool, but beware. Beware because that moment will come perhaps two hours into Day 1 when you’re at Disneyland planning your next move, and your little lovebug looks up and says, “Can we go back to the pool NOW?”

Harbor Blvd, circa 1960's

4. Get a multi-day park hopper ticket. This might just be me, but contrary to the rest of my group, I wanted MORE time at the park. Yes, we had a 3-day pass. Besides Disneyland and all its lushness, you easily spend a day at California Adventure riding Soarin’ over California again and again ohhowilovedthatride. Don’t wait until you get to the front gates; you can buy tickets from Disney cheaper online.

5. Fastpass is your friend. Get them whenever you can. Don’t know what they are? Find out. Hint: it’s not a wink and a smile from a park worker.

We were at Disneyland in November, an off-season period, and still, certain rides, I’m looking at you, TOY STORY and NEMO, had longass lines and no Fastpass option. If you child is interested in princesses, you WILL stand in line.

newest princess Tiana!

And read that book everyone says to read, The Unofficial Guide to Disneyland. It will open your eyes to attacking the park unlike never before if, unlike mine, your group will actually get up in the morning.

6. Plan on buying lots of water at the park or at Target or wherever. Sure, I am a tightwad brought my water bottle Day 1 planning on refilling it at the park and forcing my whole group to drink from it, but holymamaofaquiferhellbatman, that tap water tasted NASTY. So did our hotel tap water. Guess we are spoiled here in all our PNW natural beauty and good tasting water.

That, plus, the Hubs put a filter on a filter on a filter on our main water line a few years back.

7. Prepare to be that bad parent who puts their kid on a ride that terrifies the crap out of them. Like a colonoscopy, it WILL happen to you; it’s just a matter of when. My kid decided the second time she rode the Indiana Jones ride, it scared her little Princess panties off. Second time, people.

8. Don’t beat yourself up when you weaken and purchase some perfectly useful watch or charming mug ridiculous item with a Disney logo that afterward you find online on sale with free shipping at the end of your trip. You’re only human and these Disney merchandisers are not.

Also, check out the Silhouette Studio on Main Street. Even if you don’t get one made of your offspring, which you should since it’s only $9 and is probably the best souvenir you could ever have, it is mindblowing to watch this woman pick up scissors and cut out the shape of someone’s face on that black paper in 15 seconds.

9. Lastly, prepare your husband your ego for seeing some fake boobs. This is the O.C., after all. Imagine, skinny woman, skinny arms, ponytail, tank top, and two well-rounded puffs of tanned silicone peeking out, like two little, softbrained aliens trapped under her bronzed casing trying to go home. You’ll want to avert your eyes, but can’t.

Makes me appreciate home, fleece and turtlenecks, rain and windstorms…

So, there you have it. Best of luck in all your Disney adventures. Enjoy your trip!

So, Kenley, Korto and Leanne made it to the finals of Project Runway. What did you all think of their shows? The whole final episode felt anti-climatic to me, and I’m not sure why. First off, Tim stepped in to judge when JLo couldn’t make at the last minute (is that the real story, a hurt foot? what’d she do, trip over a twin getting tummy time?), so right away you knew Kenley was screwed. Maybe the next contestant will think twice before sassing Tim, sweet, smart, helpful Tim.

Kenley’s outfits were….colorful, with a nautical rope theme (naturally!), so let’s call it S.S. Seuss. Some I liked, some looked silly to me, and some were probably nicer than appeared on tv. I think we just don’t get the real feel of these garments a lot of the time. And apparently some of Kenley’s were identical to other designers’ work. Oops. I must give her credit though, because during the season I felt she repeated herself in her designs, but her collection pieces were not all the same.

Korto’s line, let’s call it Puffy Sleeves, looked similar enough to be cohesive but different enough to be interesting. I think her stuff was too flowy to win. Flowy IS a word. As of now. Remember that German woman with the flowy Miami clothes from a couple of season’s ago? Also cool, flattering, but flowy. Flowy will not win in NYC. They don’t do flowy. Not sure why, maybe it’s a safety issue. Muggers could grab you when you tried to get away?

Leanne’s collection also had movement, but not flowy. No, hers was more rippley, than flowy, so let’s call it Accordion. I thought her theme was overdone and pieces looked too similar, in an accordion kind of way. I liked it the first couple of times…. Also, I had a suit skirt with regular pleats once, and I would be more able to change my oil filter than properly iron that thing. Never again. Hey, maybe we need to call Leanne’s collection Oil Filter? And even though it was based on the Willamette River, that great muse, her outfits looked very New Yorky. Yes, also another word. Once again, the TV does not capture the real quality, I believe. Did you notice the judges calling her clothes “blue”?? I don’t know about your tv, but on mine (circa 1999, lo def) they looked green, not even close to blue.

So, to sum up, if I would be more likely to wear it, not a winner. I’m just not sophisticated, in a clothes kinda way. Judging from all the tears (it was the first ALL WOMEN finale! YAY!), you know those contestants really slaved to show their work. Kudos to them all, especially to Leanne, a PNW girl! She does have a distinctive eye and definite talent. I’ll be interested to see what she does with her winnings. Who did you all like? What’d you think?

And, more importantly, is it time for a new Top Chef season yet??

Designers this week had to team up with losers previously ejected designers to make an “avant garde” outfit inspired by one of the two team member’s zodiac sign.

Did anyone else notice that THERE WERE NO VIRGOS at all????? (yes, that’s my sign—you think I use spellcheck? Nah, just a Virgo) Could this be coincidence? I call ZODIAC DISCRIMINATION from the producers. Let’s get a class action going. Any other Virgos want in? I can’t hear you. Virgos are not really “class action” types, I guess.

Given the LACK OF VIRGOS, it was a struggle for me to watch this episode. All those Scorpios and their irrational temper tantrums. What Virgo can take it??

One thing made me very happy this time. Taking a page from Trump, they eliminated TWO designers this week. Yay. Quite VIRGO-ish of them, you might say.

The other thing that made me happy was seeing little Christian again, last season’s winner. Say what you will about him and his taste, he makes great tv. I mean, FIERCE tv. I wanted more of those prior season designers. Were you happy to see any past faves? Were they more talented than this season’s crowd?

As for this season’s designers, we said “adios” to Blayne and Terri. Blayne and Stella came up with….what? A Greek, leather strapped goddess being attacked by a giant python made of rainbow tissue paper? As I write this, I’m realizing that Kid would probably LOVE that outfit….

Might I add, however, that for all the crap I have written about Blayne, he was remarkably gracious upon his exit. Way to be, Blayne. Terri, on the other hand, seemed bitter. Hey, didn’t I say she should be bitter a few weeks ago? Well, it showed. And poor little Keith, still ouching from his ouster, got tested by the universe by being paired with Terri. Isn’t it amazing that alone a designer does fine, but add a difficult partnership and WHAM, crapola comes down the runway?! How does strife negate the original designer’s talent? Is talent so tenuous?

Kenley, who didn’t LISTEN TO TIM, barely missed an exit. What was that dress? Is she doing a Tim Burton movie? I kept seeing Helena Bonham’s face on top of that dress. Her partnership was hilarious, though. She just merrily stomped on Wesley, and he raised his eyebrows behind the scenes about her absurd outfit.

Leanne, IMO, should have scored a third win in a row, but I think they decided to spread the winnings around a little. Jerell’s outfit was good, but I thought Leanne’s was better.

Who do you think should be next out? Personally, I’m less attached to all of them now that I know none are Virgos. Yeah, we’re very clique-ish, that way.

What about Tim? Maybe he’s a Virgo? He looks like a Virgo. I’m off to Google it….

noun:

Loss or impairment of the ability to act or to make decisions.

I was suffering from an aboulia, you know. I couldn’t seem to make decisions.
– Anatole Broyard, “Reading and Writing; (Enter Pound and Eliot)”, New York Times, May 30, 1982

Abulia derives from Greek a-, “without” + boule, “will.” The adjective form is abulic.

Kid started full-day kindergarten, and now, with tons of time on my hands, I can’t decide what to do first. Or at all. I seem to be having my own bout of abulia. I guess it’s like my own Hamlet complex. To vacuum or not to vacuum….

I’m wondering if McCain had this condition, too. That would explain someone else (or someone elses…like a cabal?) picking Palin as VP candidate for him. Yes, that makes more sense, doesn’t it?

noun:
1. A secret, conspiratorial association of plotters or intriguers whose purpose is usually to bring about an overturn especially in public affairs.
2. The schemes or plots of such an association.
3. To form a cabal; to conspire; to intrigue; to plot.

But the new world of toys is by no means simply the product of a profit-mad cabal of toy pushers discovering new ways of exploiting the child market.
– Gary Cross, Kids’ Stuff

Cabal derives from Medieval Latin cabala, a transliteration of Hebrew qabbalah, “received,” hence “traditional, lore,” from qabal, “to receive.” The evolution in sense is: “(secret) tradition, secret, secret plots or intrigues, secret meeting, secret meeters, a group of plotters or intriguers.”

I’m not one to get into long political debates. It seems to me that most politicians do not end up doing what they claim they will, so I have a hard time believing a damn word any of those power-hungry, narcissistic freaks say listening to much of anything for very long.

However, I couldn’t not hear about Sarah Palin. I suspect this selection may have been the result of a cabal. The question is which side? Who benefits from this choice, now and in four years? Did McCain pick her? Or did Hilary pick her? Or certain Alaskans?

I was JUST telling a friend that my favorite challenges are the ones that they have to make an outfit out of garbage. Then lo and behold, we get this challenge: use all the recyclable parts of Saturn cars! Yay me!

Designers all headed for the seat belts (so you can be safe! as Dora would say…and maybe the contestants).

I think it was a toss-up for best this week, Leanne or Korto. At least Korto’s could actually be worn while driving a car.

However, Leanne’s dress while probably hard to sit in, had stuffing added to keep the hip poufs out. Points for high fashion safety air bags? We regular women have our own, built-in poufs. But they don’t enlarge upon contact, unless it’s contact with Ben & Jerry’s Super Fudge Chunk….

Anyway, Korto won. Keith lost. Finally. While exiting, his voiceover said how bummed he was to get the boot as he’s stuck in Utah and this was his big chance. Is he not allowed to leave Utah? Some parole deal we don’t know about? Maybe there’s an anger management thing? It looked as if he and guest judge Laura from Season 3 almost got into a fight.

“ExCUSE ME??” she said. I could imagine her talking to one of her six kids. “You talkin’ to ME? HUH? HUH?” She is a New Yorker after all. And I’m pretty sure she could take him in a fight.

At the end, we debated in our house about who should have won–Leanne or Korto. Did you debate, too?

(oh, not that I’m saying the Hubs would ever watch a show like this….)

[spoilers ahead!]

First off, TERRI SHOULD HAVE WON again. She might be getting bitter about it. I would. Hell, I am.

Joe may have crossed his own personal prejudice to make a good outfit, but so what? Do they award for Nice Result While Freakin’ Your Homophobic Butt? I think not, people.

Although it was funny to see the shock in his face when he first met his queen. “I’ll just have to approach it like I’m making a Halloween costume for my daughters,” he confessed later. After a comment like that, we all know what Joe’s gonna have to approach after this season: therapy.

And why can’t they be like Trump and fire TWO designers? Really, Keith AND Daniel should be gone by now. And between the two, they keep Mr. Fringe? All his stuff just reminds me that I need to go to the car wash.

I leave you with my favorite queen quotes (including those from Tim):

“I don’t need to rely on COSTUMES! Have you SEEN me?!”

“I can crack a rib overnight. Come ON, Stella!”

“I feel a little barnacle-y.”

“It looks like a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park.”

“You can tell her you’ve been to a different rodeo.” (I’m still confused about that one)

A Final Note: did anyone else notice how much giggling Kors was doing?? WTH??

splat! crash! plop! (sounds of rotten vegetables being thrown at me)

The End.

Why, you ask, is Wendy such a traitor to this great land of ours? (that was your question, right?) Well, I had hoped that Project Runway episode would have excited me about the Games, but no, apparently not.

I like the winter Olympics just fine. It’s snowy and pretty. There’re hockey players, skiing, and the ICE DANCING! I can tap into all my time spent as a youth watching Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly movies (oops, my girly-girl is showing). They didn’t have ice dancing when I was a kid (I don’t think) but I’m sure my skating lessons in elementary school were heading me in that direction. What ever happened to that as my career? I asked my mother that a few years ago.

“Oh, I don’t know. I probably got tired of driving you there,” said mom. Future greatness dashed.

But summer Olympics, there’s what? Track and field. Ohhhhh, ahhhhhhh. Look, I can’t run fast. I’m built for slow. Possible endurance, but slow. I’m the one you want with you in bear country. The thrill of track left with FloJo. She’s not in the Olympics now, is she?

What else you got for Olympic gold? Basketball. Mmmmmmm. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I could watch that other times of the year.

Diving? Is a sport you HAVE to watch on slo-mo replay really meant for tv watching? And there’s that *SPLAT* sound which reminds me of too many belly flops from my youth.

Other sports? Did you know there’s trampoline this year? How did a warm-up routine for the REAL SPORTS become a competition in itself? Next, it will be stretching and taping. Although gymnasts might already be doing that on the floor routine. That’s tape they’re waving around, right? How about carbo-loading as a sport? I might like to see that.

I want to like the Olympics. I read about all of you out there glued to your sets, rooting and absorbed. I wish I felt that way.

Olympics, I’m just not that into you.

What am I missing? Is there an Olympic sport that’s awesome this summer? (we’re talking sports, NOT just oogling the hot bods!)

Or, are you secretly like me??

What is important about it? If he runs for public office again, then maybe? In the interview (I read the transcript), he said he didn’t know that politics was how he wanted to spend his life. That may be good at this point.

Of course, maybe it’s BS. Maybe he had the affair first, then hired her to film the documentary footage as a cover, and did father the child. And paid her to keep quiet and not demand a paternity test. And the self-professed father is being paid off, too. The father’s name on the birth certificate IS blank. Maybe Elizabeth Edwards prefers it all this way, too?

To me, the lowest would be not taking responsibility for the child. If that were his child. Maybe I’m slow on numbers….if the child is six months old, and the affair ended 18 months ago, that’s pretty close. But not close enough, like in horseshoes?

Assuming all he said was true, what does any of it matter? If he and his wife have dealt with it, and now have bigger issues, like her battle with cancer, then why should any of us care? Really, enlighten me.

Politicians and womanizing seem to go hand in hand, or hand in pants. This is not new. My mom suspects other women may be coming forward next (she’s even more cynical than I). I’m at least glad it was a woman over 40. Kudos, John. And not some 19 year old girl, all ga-ga about a powerful man.

My friend from France said “Oh, we don’t care about such things. Just do your job well.” Why don’t we think like that?

Is it just more fun to gossip and speculate (and blog)? Do you care?

The guest judge, Apolo Ohno, seemed to have good comments at the end, but when the challenge is to design for female athletes, I wondered why they didn’t get a FEMALE ATHLETE to judge. Are their publicists just not as good as his? Apolo is sorta cute, in a hobbit-y kind of way, but wasn’t he a WINTER Olympian, anyway?

[At least this week, I understood the challenge right away. Last week, at first I thought they were all going to have to use green-colored fabrics. Odd choice, but whatever. Then they discussed hemp and other ECO-friendly fabrics. Ohhhhhh. Environment, NOT Kermit.]

This episode reminded me of when they gave designers normal to large sized models as clients last season. Several contestants were all, “I’ve NEVER designed for this siiiiiiize. (eyes roll) I guess I’ll drape.”

This time, several designers were all, “I do chic, not sportswear. Gag-a-matic!” (eyes roll)

Daniel made a boring cocktail dress after Kenley suggested he ditch the cape he was working on. He almost got the boot. Thanks, Kenley. Good tip. (She might be cute as a button according to SOME people-you know who you are-but I’d think twice on her advice.)

If you’re named Mary, have a flock of sheep and like clubbing, Jerell made a great outfit for you. What planet is he on anyway? And he put himself on the chopping block because he did NOT LISTEN TO TIM. Tim said the scarves alone were very “Lucy Ricardo” and not in a good way. So what did Jerrell do? Added a giant silly hat. (”My first hat!” he said. Let’s hope it’s his last. And what random Peter Pan thing was on HIS head??)

AGAIN, PEOPLE: LISTEN TO TIM!

Joe’s outfit was cool, I thought, but with all his bragging you KNEW he wasn’t going to win.

When Jennifer finally got the boot for an outfit that made NO SENSE for the challenge, she said she thought she had brought a different perspective to the competition with her surrealism.

Did anyone ever get surrealism from her? No? Of course, my idea of surrealism is melting watches and floating umbrellas. Maybe her surrealism is being SO real that it’s SURREAL?! Ouch, I think I just hurt myself.

Most remarkable, however, is that the winner was the Liberian woman, Korto. SHE got the American concept best and blended it with her style.

I felt the top three were real close this week, but Kors clearly sneered at Joe’s, so that knocked him down to third.

Whose did you like best? Have you noticed the women seem to be dominating this season? Woo hoo!