I took the Kid to see Hugo in 3D after ripping into our lottery winnings in our mattress. The movie was great in a very dontwealllovethemovies kinda way. If you go, be on time or you’ll never have me as your movie date because the opening shot in 3D is the highlight of the film, imo.

But this post is not about the movie. It’s about the concession stand. What they think we are not seeing them do there.

First off, I am a popcorn fiend. I admit it. I am powerless to it. So, I usually always get some at the movies, however nasty it may be. I said I’m powerless, you judgey judgers! Plus, concessions is where the exhibitors make their money, and haven’t you heard, the movie business is in trouble, so I’m doing my part.

But what amazes me is how they serve up those golden morsels nowadays. They lift the scoop of popcorn highohsohigh above the bucket and let those popped fluffballs of joy float, single file, down, down, down. Leaving as much air in the bucket as possible while still remaining on Planet Earth.

Now, if you’re 15, this is The Way It’s Always Been. But if you’re 29, like me, you have not forgotten the days when they were not so lovingly tender with the corn.

They roughly scooped, slapped it down in the bucket, and scooped some more. And then, they’d pound the bucket on the counter several times like they’re about to make a free throw shot with 1 second to go to settle the corn and make room for yet another incoming scoop of popcorn.

I am not shitting you. That is how it was done. It was a beautiful thing. Ask your dad.

Now that I’ve written this, honestly, I’m lost in my movie concession stand reverie, so talk amongst yourselves. *sigh*

Do you have any great memories of going to the movies?

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And while sometimes the hubs get a vote in what movie I add to the queue, mostly the list is mine, run completely by me, with some titles tossed in like a fish to the circus seal to appease the hubs from time to time.

Which means I have only myself to blame for this. I added a recommended movie called “Amazing Grace.” Unfortunately, I forgot I added it to my ever-growing list because my queue is on steriods, and I re-added it later.

But when I added it again, I added a totally different movie called “The Amazing Grace,” made that same year, 2006.

I still haven’t seen the movie I meant to see because due to a bad combination of meds some idiotic juggling by moi, “The Amazing Grace” arrived first. Both movies are supposed to be about slavery and a British man who changes his position on the issue, rallies to abolish slavery in England, and writes the song, Amazing Grace.

So I can’t tell you about the GOOD movie, but I can tell you about the other, unacclaimed, unpraised movie. It has low production values, hokey dialogue, and a confusing storyline and theme. Really, I think a slave had on a Fossil watch. And the slave ship captain might have been holding a Blackberry and a whip. Avoid it.

But the strangest part of this movie mix-up was the watching of the bad movie. We watched, believing several people had loved this movie and said we had to see this movie. And yet….? So we watched some more. We waited for it to improve. We fast-forwarded to see if it got better later. We waited more.

Then, it ended. Nothing amazing, nothing graceful.

Perplexed would be the word. We knew that movie sucked. How could people love it? How could those people be so wrong? How could people we know take such good drugs without sharing with us have such bad taste?

Finally, I logged back onto Netflix and read The bad, bad reviews of “The Amazing Grace” and how people had only rented it because they confused it with “Amazing Grace.”

So, let’s recap: “Amazing Grace,” good; “The Amazing Grace,” bad. Beware the “The”. You’ll thank me later.

Have you seen any bad movies lately?

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We thoroughly enjoyed this little gem. The Kid, who’s five, was scared a few times, but I kept assuring her that nothing would happen to the main character (basic movietelling 101). Despereaux is a brave little mouse, and SO CUTE. I think he’s my new crush. He’s dashing, earnest, noble, adventurous, and a real gentlemen. And he likes to read. What a guy!

Besides the beautiful, warm look and feel of the animation, I liked the movie’s theme that so many people (or animals) who are mean or angry are really just hurt inside and needing healing of some kind. A great message of compassion for this holiday season.

Also, some characters who made poor decisions turn around to make good choices later in the film. As parents, we like to see that, don’t we?

Afterwards, I realized that the movie lacked any annoying, loud dance scenes or hokey songs. You’ll have no earworm of a song playing in your head after seeing this movie. That alone is worth the price of admission, eh?

This film may just become a classic! Check it out!

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Should you go see it? For a kid’s movie sequel, I’d say it wasn’t bad. I laughed out loud a few times and felt it mostly moved along fine. But I have to ask: are these things getting louder? With more choppy action scenes? I was tired by the end. And the Kid had several breakdowns from the moment we left the theater, but that could be coming down from her Junior Mint high.

As with the first Madagascar, those penguins stole the show. Shana and I totally agree on that. The penguins fly the gang out of Madagascar and end up in Africa. At first (perhaps an homage to Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods???), they think they’ve found all that they’re looking for: wild animals that look like them, a place they belong, a place they are from, a beautiful setting, all that good stuff. Alas, it was too early in the movie for a happy ending.

I thought overall the movie was a little intense (from my third row seat) in terms of action, noise, music, and there were a few fight scenes with a crazy old lady New Yorker with a pocketbook (and a rifle later) against the animals. So sensitive middle-aged parents youngsters might be overwhelmed. The crazy mob of kids in the theater, however, enjoyed it.

I also appreciated the “being different is okay” theme and the “finding love with someone different” theme, especially in this current Prop 8 world. Warning: interspecies love involved!

In sum, I mostly grinned, laughed a little and didn’t groan, so go see it with your kids. You could do much worse.

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How was it? Not bad. I kinda liked it, so that’s pretty good for a movie clearly targeted for kids. I just gave it 3 of 5 stars on Netflix. In fact, I’d like to go on record for appreciating a movie that is for kids, at a short length for kids, and not truly an adult film made in animation. Oh, one movie comes to mind…..Wall-e. And Ratatouille. And, well, you get the idea. Chihuahua doesn’t scream Pixar maturity and complexity, and I liked that about it.

A few scenes of dog fighting in Mexico (from Disney?!) and a mean doberman seemed a little scary for youngsters (dobermans get the short shrift with the stereotyping!), but Kid didn’t seem too bothered by it. I’ll let you know if she has nightmares later about it….

My favorite part of the movie involved a wild Chihuahua gang who chanted “No Mas!” all the time and lived around some Mexican ruins. That cracked me up. Even now, I’m grinning about it. We are “tiny but mighty,” they said. Reminds me of the Horton Hears a Who movie‘s “a person’s a person, no matter how small.”

[I think these are valuable concepts, unless you are a mother to a young child who wages a strike against your parental management...]

And I appreciated the themes of the show, getting in touch with your ancestral history and inner strength, being responsible, not judging others, and finding homes for stray dogs. Really. Ironic when the main selling point in the commercials is Beverly Hills glam.

Overall, we liked it. So if you find yourself with that deadly combo of child and rainy afternoon, go to the movies!

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COMPARE:
1. Both are cartoons.

2. Neither is rated R.

3. Both are less than 100 minutes long.

CONTRAST:
1. Panda is clearly made for kids with colorful, rollicking fun; Wall-E is made for….well, I can only guess, depressed environmentalists who just got divorced, lost their jobs, and were evicted from their green-built yurt.

2. Panda has an uplifting message — persevere and follow your dreams, no matter how unlikely; Wall-E has a bleak message — humans are pigs.

3. Panda is full of loud, kung fu motions; Wall-E is full of bittersweet pantomime by a robot.

I’m not sayin’ Wall-E is bad, just improperly marketed. It’s more like the illegitimate love child of 2001: A Space Odyssey and Lost in Space.

(hey, just had a thought: maybe they could hand out dope instead of that blue plastic Wall-E watch (why the watch, anyway? did someone use a watch in the movie?))

I doubt my husband any kid under 10 would understand the entire storyline of Wall-E (hi hubs! luv ya!).

And if you want to watch melancholy pantomime, rent Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window. Miss Lonelyhearts does an excellent job.

In conclusion, for a good time with your kid, see KUNG FU PANDA.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

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“A person’s a person, no matter how small!”

Yes, it opened yesterday (big) and being the movie loser lover I am, I took Kid to Horton Hears a Who.

Sure, it was colorful, silly and most importantly, less than 90 minutes long, but there was this message.

And they kept repeating it.

And while laughing nervously, I kept thinking how this could be used against parents, if you know what I mean. No vote, no candy, no more tv, whatever you are denying, what if this message is thrown in our faces??

It’s already been shanghaied by anti-abortionists, I read somewhere, who chanted at families as they bought tickets to the movie. Huh? Talk about misplaced target audiences. Those adults have apparently already decided against abortion, at least one time.

Although now that they have raising-a-kid knowledge, perhaps they would be at the very least, pro-choice, if not pro-youth-inasia…. (that is, youth sent to Asia, on a slow boat)

Messages aside, we both liked the movie (‘sawright, dog, ‘sawright). It didn’t blow me away, but it did leave me with two questions:

1. Why in all of Whoville has it taken this long for CAROL BURNETT to be an animated character?? I hope this will be the first of many. That woman reigns supreme.

2. What is so great about Red Vines? Not that we didn’t pay close attention, but much movie time was spent in negotiations of how many Red Vines Kid is allowed from the mega-sized box (we don’t need another Hot Tamales incident). I don’t get it. They taste like chewy plastic, only with bright red food color (which you don’t SEE in the movie theater). The black ones, maybe, I get….but I also like licorice tea.

If you see this movie, I want to know if your kid uses the message against you later. Please do let me know.

[Also, note that the loftier "you can believe in things you can't see/smell/hear" message flew over Kid's head as she announced all the things she did not believe in during our drive home, including but not limited to me, God, and Daddy, but excluding the Easter Bunny.]

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Sure, the idea of a guy with a blow-up doll may make you cringe (and/or hum a Police tune), but the execution of this odd story filled me up with warm fuzzies.

See, it’s not about a blow-up doll. It’s not a male teenager movie. He does fall in love and have a relationship with Bianca, the blow-up doll, after all. But more importantly, it’s about a family grieving loss, a community supporting, and people reaching out to each other, damaged, quirky people who show kindness, friendship and love.

My yoga teacher recently read a quote about “the liberation of self through love,” and I thought of Lars.

Ryan Gosling quietly worried me, Paul Schneider (his brother) amazed me and Emily Mortimer (his sister-in-law) charmed me (again). Cool Patricia Clarkson immediately won me over (as usual). The whole town (if you’ve ever lived in a small town, you’ll get it), was its own character, full of hilarious, generous understanding and action.

A really good film, an entertaining and touching experience. Oscar-nominated screenplay. Powerful cast. Check it out.

Have you seen this movie? What’d you think?

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Should you and your unruly bunch go? Well, Kid sat about half the time, and then took off running. As this was a special kids morning feature, I was not concerned. Others were stalking the entire length of the aisles, yelling, and flinging their panties at the stage. No, that was the Police concert. Anyway, there were only ten or fifteen minutes when I had no idea where my child was. I assume she stayed in the theater. At one point, I believe I saw her and another kid straightening their clothes while crawling out from under the black curtain at the base of the screen. Whatever. She had her “friendly cap” on that day. She even brought another preschooler over to sit with us for three seconds. Until they ran off. So I was not the only one with a free range kid.

Movie Review: I liked it. Chef in a rat’s body idea, very cute, natural conflict, funny grossness factor. Paris looked great (the CITY, remember that place??). Pixar has the entertainment formula down. Problem: this and every other kid movie I’ve seen with Kid don’t seem to appeal to kids. These cartoon movies are pretty grownup movies colorized by Crayola. The younger kid set is not going to be entertained for long, unless you have one of those stay-put, Elmer’s butt kids who’ll sit through anything (in which case you are not really getting to experience full parenthood and all the shrieking, chasing and caffeinization we parents of busybodies do).

BTW, it hasn’t been all rats. In between rats, we saw the penguin movie about surfers. Kid’s comment at the interview style of characters speaking to the camera: When are they going to stop talking, mommy? When?? So, that movie went well, as you might imagine.

P.S., we saw a real rat running across a parking lot a few days after the rat movie (yes, here in our little island paradise!). Kid wanted to follow it and get close. Once again, more great lessons learned at the movies…..

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What did we obscure-movie watchers do before this handy thing call the Web? I used it after watching Brokeback Mountain and Lost in Translation. What DID they say at the end of those movies, and why could I not understand it even after replaying it FIVE times?! Are directors getting more “clever” these days or has my ability to analyze atrophied away thanks to Spongebob and Clifford saturation? I USED TO go to lots of foreign films, and I enjoyed the questions and ambiguous story lines. Now, as credits roll I grab my laptop because I have no CLUE what they are trying to say with their art.

What’s happened to me….hheeelllllppppp!

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