Category Archives: movie reviews

Anti-Gravity Movie Popcorn

[Warning: she's getting her bitch on]

I took the Kid to see Hugo in 3D after ripping into our lottery winnings in our mattress. The movie was great in a very dontwealllovethemovies kinda way. If you go, be on time or you’ll never have me as your movie date because the opening shot in 3D is the highlight of the film, imo.

But this post is not about the movie. It’s about the concession stand. What they think we are not seeing them do there.

First off, I am a popcorn fiend. I admit it. I am powerless to it. So, I usually always get some at the movies, however nasty it may be. I said I’m powerless, you judgey judgers! Plus, concessions is where the exhibitors make their money, and haven’t you heard, the movie business is in trouble, so I’m doing my part.

But what amazes me is how they serve up those golden morsels nowadays. They lift the scoop of popcorn highohsohigh above the bucket and let those popped fluffballs of joy float, single file, down, down, down. Leaving as much air in the bucket as possible while still remaining on Planet Earth.

Now, if you’re 15, this is The Way It’s Always Been. But if you’re 29, like me, you have not forgotten the days when they were not so lovingly tender with the corn.

They roughly scooped, slapped it down in the bucket, and scooped some more. And then, they’d pound the bucket on the counter several times like they’re about to make a free throw shot with 1 second to go to settle the corn and make room for yet another incoming scoop of popcorn.

I am not shitting you. That is how it was done. It was a beautiful thing. Ask your dad.

Now that I’ve written this, honestly, I’m lost in my movie concession stand reverie, so talk amongst yourselves. *sigh*

Do you have any great memories of going to the movies?

Beware the “The”: The Amazing Grace, a movie review


In case you didn’t know, I’m a Netflix user. I love it. My queue (a stored list of movies to rent) is over 300 movies long.

And while sometimes the hubs get a vote in what movie I add to the queue, mostly the list is mine, run completely by me, with some titles tossed in like a fish to the circus seal to appease the hubs from time to time.

Which means I have only myself to blame for this. I added a recommended movie called “Amazing Grace.” Unfortunately, I forgot I added it to my ever-growing list because my queue is on steriods, and I re-added it later.

But when I added it again, I added a totally different movie called “The Amazing Grace,” made that same year, 2006.

I still haven’t seen the movie I meant to see because due to a bad combination of meds some idiotic juggling by moi, “The Amazing Grace” arrived first. Both movies are supposed to be about slavery and a British man who changes his position on the issue, rallies to abolish slavery in England, and writes the song, Amazing Grace.

So I can’t tell you about the GOOD movie, but I can tell you about the other, unacclaimed, unpraised movie. It has low production values, hokey dialogue, and a confusing storyline and theme. Really, I think a slave had on a Fossil watch. And the slave ship captain might have been holding a Blackberry and a whip. Avoid it.

But the strangest part of this movie mix-up was the watching of the bad movie. We watched, believing several people had loved this movie and said we had to see this movie. And yet….? So we watched some more. We waited for it to improve. We fast-forwarded to see if it got better later. We waited more.

Then, it ended. Nothing amazing, nothing graceful.

Perplexed would be the word. We knew that movie sucked. How could people love it? How could those people be so wrong? How could people we know take such good drugs without sharing with us have such bad taste?

Finally, I logged back onto Netflix and read The bad, bad reviews of “The Amazing Grace” and how people had only rented it because they confused it with “Amazing Grace.”

So, let’s recap: “Amazing Grace,” good; “The Amazing Grace,” bad. Beware the “The”. You’ll thank me later.

Have you seen any bad movies lately?