Category Archives: marriage

if $10,000,000 showed up one day…

Posted on December 16, 2010 by wendy| 3 Comments

With the Hubs still not 100% on the cash-generating leg recovery, we naturally started speculating about what we’d do with an extra $10 mil laying around.

Cuz that’s the kind of real problem solvers we are!

And right off the bat, with loads of energy, the Hubs brightly declares, “I’d buy a jet! Know what’s the first thing I’d do with that jet?”

“No, what?” I asked, mentally juggling Belize, New Zealand, or the Greek Isles.

“I’d go get Tom (my mother’s spouse) and go to that Ferrari car show in Italy!!”

*crickets*

“Oh? Is that right? And what about you sleeping on the couch forever your loving wife?!”

“Well,” he laughed, “Of course you could come, too!”

*blink*

*imagining all the extra drawers and closet space I could have*

Julianne Moore had it right in The Kids Are Alright. Marriage IS a f*cking maration!

Or, perhaps worse, a f*cking car show.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 3 Comments

Posted in aging, brilliant ideas, marriage

Tagged

Bakin’ up Trouble

Posted on October 18, 2010 by wendy| 3 Comments

Well, the good news is, after 3 months of crutches, the Hubs has not been murdered by his spouse been OK’d to start gradually walking and re-enter life.

The bad news is that as practice, he’s been in the kitchen.

Now that he’s canned beef, beans, bacon and all other non-vegetable or fruit items he can YouTube, he’s moved on to burning baking bread.

As with many mad scientists, that First Generation product was not quite up to snuff. It probably didn’t help that he “experimented” with the recipe as he went along, adding different ingredients in different proportions.

In baking, you MUST follow zee recipe! I shouted in my best German accent. He ignored me. As usual.

So, now I am experimenting with that First Generation brick bread…with the birds.
DSC_0454
The Nuthatches didn’t know what to make of it.
DSC_0458
Even the Steller’s Jay looked away.

But perhaps most telling of all was the Dog who snatched a giant chunk of bread off the deck railing and then 6 hours later appeared at the back door with that same chunk of bread, uneaten.

This from the Dog who eats used Kleenexes, sticks, and ear plugs. That hurt.

The Hubs does, however, learn from his mistakes, and he has gone on to bake loads (literally) of exquisite cinnamon raisin bread.
DSC_0463
Be sure to tune in next week to see me shopping for elastic pants.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 3 Comments

Posted in food, marriage

Tagged ,

power tools gone wild, or just ridiculous?

Posted on April 29, 2010 by wendy| 7 Comments

I honestly didn’t know the hubs was such a tool guy when I married him. Sure, there were a wide array of duplicate power tools on his old wooden boat, but all boat guys have tools, right? What did I know? Nothing, it turns out as usual.

Now that he doesn’t have an old lady wooden boat he has found other reasons to throw away money invest in power tools. Naturally, there’s the house project. That’s a given.

But being the Renaissance-y guy he is, he has broadened his interests to include watercolor painting. Which means he is drawing.

Which means his raison d’etre in the power tools world has a new angle.

I give you,
Exhibit A:
eraser

Did you even know they make battery-powered erasers?? They are not on the school supply list for Bainbridge Island (amazingly enough!).

(By the way, there is no fan attachment here; you still have to blow the eraser crumbs away when you’re done erasing. Can you say, “hassle?”)

What are these for? When you need to get rid of that drawing STAT!!?! Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t art supposed be done in a relaxed state, a pondering-of-life moment?

Where does hyper-erasing come in?

If you are an old artist who can no longer make that flick-flick motion?

If you are so disgusted and can’t stand to look at your work for one more second?

Or maybe you’re just a nut who is enamored with items functioning without you moving a muscle?

Stay tuned next week when we will review battery-powered paintbrushes, friend or foe, and electric brush cleaners, a new era in clean?

What do you think–is an electric eraser cool or dumb? I’d like to hear your opinions.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 7 Comments

Posted in brilliant ideas, marriage

Tagged

hey, Earth Day, i got ya global warmin’ right here

Posted on April 22, 2010 by wendy| 3 Comments

This love story goes out today in honor of Earth Day–

I may have continuously a few times beetched and moaned here about the Hubs, so to be fair (I know, why start now?), today I have a good reason to share why I married this man:

Last weekend, the Hubs, the Kid and I attended a local, Earth Day family event at Islandwood, an outdoor educational center with lovely, wooded grounds, gorgeous facilities and great cookies (true!). It’s one of those places where every day is Earth Day, where they are dedicated “to inspire lifelong environmental and community stewardship.”

We meandered into a room where an Islandwood representative displayed a variety of skulls and bones on tables to show what critters live in the region. Pretty cool (especially the rubberized scat).

The Hubs looked at the bald eagle skull and out of the blue, said, “Oh, I have a whole bunch of these at home.”
eagle skull
Islandwood guy started to say, “Oh, really?” just as a bystander realized the joke and laughed out loud.

Nothing like a sick joke to warm my heart.

I think humor, however, twisted (or maybe BECAUSE it’s twisted), can win over a girl faster than flowers any day. Maybe not better than a box of Recchiuti chocolate, but still…

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

Now, got any sick jokes to share?

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 3 Comments

Posted in animals, Bainbridge Island, WA, brilliant ideas, marriage

As the Dirt Builds

Posted on February 23, 2010 by wendy| 3 Comments

I would like to dedicate this blog post to As the Worlds Turns, a soap opera that broadcasts its final episode later this year, after decades of my apparently meaningless devotion.

How can they do this to me?!

[Also, did I mention my mother is coming for a visit?]

We now join our story already in progress….

Ashley: But, honey, my mother is coming in two days and NOW you decide to repaint the guest room and replace all the trim and molding and rewire the room? Right when you’ve gotten out of the hospital from your brain and liver transplant?

Ridge: There, there, sweetheart (pats her head), I’m fit as a fiddle. Hand me that saw and we’ll be done in no time. (belches) Can you visualize it yet?

Ashley: But, Ridge, I’m not so sure about this. And what does a saw look like, anyway?

Ridge: It’s the metal thing over there plugged into the wall. But don’t–

Ashley: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ridge: Don’t move, dear! Stay right there! I have a ziploc bag here we can put your foot in and get that sewn right back on, down at the clinic.

Ashley (panting): No, Ridge, no! You know I said I’d never go back to that place! I’d rather have one foot!

Ridge: Ashie, baby, that’s just plain gross. Besides, how will we dance the cha-cha at our wedding like we planned? Although, that could be kinky on the honeymoon. (shakes his head) No! Come on, Ash, let me take care of you…

Ashley (hopping): Ridge, I mean it! Don’t take me there!

Ridge: But why? It’s not because of that thing I had with Nurse Helen, is it? Cuz she meant nothing to me, baby. It’s over, I swear. I told you, I’m not the father!

Ashley: What?? Helen? My cousin, Helen, the nurse??

Ridge: Ash, focus, you’re bleeding! Let’s go.

Ashley: No! It’s just that…(looks away) I had a surgery there that didn’t go well. Just leave it at that! (puts out hand to stop him)

Ridge: Wha–?

Ashley: It’s nothing for you to worry about…(mutters) at least, not until the wedding night….

Ridge (not listening, of course): Ashie, baby, I’ve got your foot and you know, you’ve always got my heart, so let me take you to a doctor!

Ashley: Well, okay. But you have to hire someone to finish this job!

Ridge: Alright, if it will shut you up and get you to a doctor! I’ll call that new carpenter in town, I think her name was…Barbie.

Ashley: Barbie? My cousin Barbie is back in town….?

END SCENE

Will Ashley get her foot back on? Will Ridge call Barbie? Will Barbie…well, of course, she will. Tune in next time for another stirring episode of As the Dirt Builds!

[And, yes, the hubs is remodeling at the last minute, and yes, I got a huge splinter from having to put wood into the fireplace by myself. I am not over it.]

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 3 Comments

Posted in brilliant ideas, marriage, weirdo

Tagged

Who asked you?!

Posted on January 6, 2010 by wendy| 7 Comments

We had another conversation here at chez Let the dog in! illustrating the differences between the Hubs and yours truly’s marriage and others’ wedded bliss. It all came up after I went shoe shopping with a friend.

She bought some super cute (waterproof! yay!) boots but wanted to know the store’s returns policy.

In case her husband didn’t like them.

HUH?

If I came home with boots I was feeling da love for and the Hubs made a funny face or said, hmmmmm, not great, I’d say, “You don’t know shit about fashion, you dirtwad how great they feel!”

I came by this bitchiness attitude honestly, I can tell you. We haven’t discussed this issue, but I can already hear my mother’s retort: “In case he didn’t like them?? What, is he going to be wearing them?”

This concept of actually giving a shit caring what your spouse thinks, well, it’s as foreign to me as mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches (Just because they are good separately, doesn’t mean you get to do this! You know who you are!). It’s like those Facebook friends who claim to hold hands with their spouses at home, when no one is looking.

In what alternative universe is this stuff happening? Next, you’ll tell me married couples are also knitting together or taking dance classes voluntarily.

It’s just difficult for me to believe that all of ya’ll in Texas, where I was raised, would ever cotton to such shenanigans.

But a tiny yes-virginia-there-is-a-santa part of me realized last night, that those wives live each day knowing what their husband’s honest opinion is on any given topic. They offer understanding and respect to the person they’re spending the rest of their life with.

Someone must be speaking their thoughts and feelings out loud, and someone must be listening.

In our 8 years of marriage, this is a strategy I haven’t really tried before, hearing and honoring his words. Hmmmmmm, I bet that’d make him feel good, needed, validated, and whatever else Oprah’s discussing.

And when someone feels like that, well, they return that gift of giving, don’t they?

Maybe then he’d buy me some new boots!

Okay, readers, raise your hand if you want your husband’s honest opinion on your fashion choices!

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 7 Comments

Posted in brilliant ideas, growth, marriage

there’s a hole in my life, specifically, the bedroom

Posted on August 4, 2009 by wendy| 1 Comment

dsc_0118
The hubs has a project, as usual. A painting-the-whole-house project.

Which naturally means I now have a hole in my bedroom wall. You follow that logic?

He stopped painting and claims our house must be two colors until he gets all the new windows in. Which might make sense if I knew anything about house projects I ever felt like agreeing with him.

Today he’s putting in a window, leftover from the replacing windows project of 1843, although this is not technically replacing a window. So, perhaps this is a separate create-a-window-where-there-never-was-a-window project also of 1843?

But do you notice anything about this photo? Like, he’s not there?

Right. He cut this hole first thing in the morning leaving time to be sure it’s in by bedtime this afternoon, and now is on the phone dealing with some work-related catastrophe.

I’m just praying he doesn’t have to leave town right away, too.

Leaving me with this engraved mosquito invitation called a hole.

Not to mention a two-toned house. No, not mentioning that.

At least, the house looks mostly done from the street.

And he does good work, of course.

UPDATE: Amazingly enough, he did it! The window was sealed by bedtime (before actually). I worry so needlessly….

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share

→ 1 Comment

Posted in brilliant ideas, life is good, marriage