Category Archives: brilliant ideas

The Shiny Coat Series: A Dip into Food Detox’ing

So, we just ended early finished a 3-week food detox here, the Hubs and I. I would have written about it as it was going on, but I was too weak and mentally incapacitated way bitchier than normal and who needs to read bad news, right?

Here’s what we didn’t consume: wheat, dairy, sugar, caffeine, alcohol (excluding a glass a wine that time or two), beef, pork, and corn.

What’s left, you say? Just all that crap we’re supposed to be eating all the time anyways–vegetables, fruits, other grains, beans, nuts, seeds, etc. Plus, we took extra supplements and stuff that were supposed to cleanse the liver.

I did this detox before, all by myself, and I have to say I was much less tempted then. It seems when you have a partner, you also (or, me and my devilish mind) potentially have a partner in crime. I kept offering to cheat. Wanna have some wine? Just one? I will if you will…

When I was detoxing alone I was all, “NO, I can’t possibly have wine because I am DETOX’ing, thanks for remembering, and how can you sit there drinking in front of me?? It must be because you really don’t love me at all, do you? And probably never did?!”

Detoxes make me more dramatic. It’s the sugar deprivation.

This time if I was testy, and I’m not saying I was, it was only because the Hubs lost 9 pounds in 8 days or some such b.s. Meanwhile, yours truly lost +1 pounds.

I was hoping to jump start eating healthier with this detox, but I was so lazy this time around, we ended up subsisting on rice cakes with almond or cashew butter. There were bits of rice cakes everyfreakingwhere. Can I just say after O.D.’ing on almond butter, I was ready to propose to the cashew butter. You’re so creamy, you’re so smooth, and…and…my mouth is now watering.

If you do it right, you can also test for food sensitivities at the end when you’re all cleansed, but we pretty much launched directly into pizza and beer which blew that idea into outer space. I recommend at least easing your way back into other foods. Your gut unlike my vengeful bastard will thank you.

The liver part of it I can’t really say. I think liver stuff is subtle, unless you’re really in trouble. I think my skin improved, my concentration improved, and I felt clearer mentally. Everyone should try it at least once. It will make you try new foods, show you see how your body feels without its regular standbys, and shake things up a bit. That’s always good, right?

Next up: I started drinking coconut kefir every day to add flora to my gut. Stay tuned for what will be a riveting report!

Wanna Be a Freelance Editor? Meet Jim Thomsen!

Thinking about freelance editing as a career? Curious about how editors got their work up and going? I was, so I thought maybe someone else out there is curious, too. If so, read on!

Here’s my interview with my friend, Jim Thomsen, former Bainbridge Islander and current freelance editor.
1. You had many years of experience working for traditional newspapers. What made you want to become a freelance editor?
One, I don’t know how to do anything else. Two, I don’t WANT to do anything else. Three, even if I were opening to learning something else, I’m afraid it wouldn’t take because I’m stubborn, petulant and have the attention span of a baby ferret. Four, there’s no place for an experienced editor who commands an experienced editor’s salary in the current job market. Five, I know some authors, and found that some were open to some professional help. And six, it’s fun. My laptop is my office. I can work whenever and wherever I want. I can dress for work in madras shorts and a Wang Chung concert T-shirt (yes, I have one).

2. What’s a typical day for you?
I usually start with a little client correspondence and bookkeeping. And Facebooking, which is as much frivolous performance art for me as it is an essential and demonstrably successful part of building my brand. Then I dive into the work itself. I line-edit for sentence structure, spelling, Chicago Manual of Style conformity and consistency, grammar, and usage. I do some fact-checking. I provide a second line of defense on story and structural issues, red-flagging implausibilities and inconsistencies as I see them, and offering solutions. I keep a separate document for each job in which I summarize problem patterns, while also playing up the good stuff.

Volume and speed are the keys to my success, so, during this ramp-up phase of my business, I rarely take a day off or work less than ten hours.

3. Where do you get your clients? What sort of business promotions have you done and what would you recommend for someone starting out?
I know nothing at all about marketing. I acquired my first clients in a few ways. One, I got to know them in person. Continue reading

A Shameless Peep at Our Diorama

Warning: the following blog post is a shameless plug for our Peeps diorama currently on display at the Bainbridge Public Library, where you must can go immediately to read great books cast a vote for the Kid and Hubs’ diorama in the library’s Peeps diorama contest.

Yes, another creative project! This one totally optional, but suggested by yours truly who then honey-badgered nicely nudged the Kid and Hubs to make something cool.

It is true at one point the following was heard in the house: “But, Mom, when are you going to do something?! You haven’t done anything on the diorama!!”

I’m the idea person. I bought the Peeps…

And they did a great job, see? Notice the painted marshmallow peach trees with real fern leaves?
Have you read this book, Where the Mountain Meets the Moon? It’s great and made me cry. When’s the last time a kid’s book made you cry (in a good way)? Old Yeller?

And who is hiding back there? Minli and Dragon, of course.
Dragon was the Peeps de resistance. Ba-da-ching!
Sharp teeth, but friendly as only a Peeps dragon could be.

So, go to the library and check out Where the Mountain Meets the Moon. And while you’re there, vote for Where the Mountain Meets the Peeps!

Although to be honest, it is true that the kid is not actually holding her breath to win. Why? Well, we’re guessing that the library’s prize will be….a book. Something made of paper and ink and relating in no way to electronics. *yawn* (this is the Kid’s yawn, not mine!)

But I say she should get her paper cuts while she can, before everything is tapping and clicking and dragging, right?

Am I the only one reading books the old-fashioned way?

an old-fashion (long)house tour

The Hubs Kid had a project recently at school. They spent a unit learning about local Native American traditions, and students all took home paper to be cut and colored into a traditional longhouse.

Naturally, leaving it at paper was not going to happen in the Hubs’ universe in this house, especially since the Hubs is Alaskan and has seen actual longhouses and known actual people who lived in them.

In light of all the screaming and crying good, detailed work that went into it, it seems only fair to have a house tour….
Nice curb appeal, yes?
Side angle, with space for gardening. Must be dinner time… Notice the tiny hide?
This is the kind of attention to detail that makes the Hubs say, “Argh, I can barely sleep around the lousy paint job they did in this vacation rental,” while I say, “What paint?”
Every longhouse with a girl in it totally had one of these outside.
Like the smoke? After much debate about how to create a tiny smoke machine, I convinced him that perhaps a third grade teacher would be happier with air-brushed cotton.

All in all, a fabulous job, you guys!!

Although I’m a little nervous at what might get created here with the upcoming unit on the Sasquatch…

Not My Idea, and yet Somehow Still Entertaining

Here’s usually what happens when someone suggests a blog idea for me:

Them: Oh my God, this is so hilarious! You should totally put this on your blog!

Me: silently smiles & nods

Me to myself: Yeah, that is now a thing that will never be on my blog.

Well, there’s always an exception to prove the rule and here it is. I present Mishka, the talking dog. Please enjoy.

Not to toot my own horn too much more than usual, but I happen to do an excellent impersonation (imdogation?) of Mishka talking. But this galaxy doesn’t need that video floating around for infinity scaring the little alien babies…

Kid, you’re welcome.