[Note: If you ever see a seal pup on the beach, steer clear. Usually, mama is close by fishing and will be back to pick up her babe. Read more here about seal haul-outs in Washington. Keep wildlife wild!]

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Allow me to preface this post with this thought: We think of shame as a very human quality with some of us feeling it more than others, who frankly based on fashion choice alone, probably should be feeling it more…; nonetheless anyone with a pet knows that animals must experience shame at some beast-like level, as well. Am I right??

If you’ve read this blog from the start (Hi, Mother!), you may recall my discussing lack of sleep during a road trip due to a certain wirehaired pointing griffon. Here’s my preschool cave wall-style graphic.Maybe not worth a thousand words, but you get the idea. And that’s not saved for vacations. This is every night help, someone save me!.

So imagine my surprise the other night when I walked into my bedroom and saw Becca sleeping like this:

WTF? Now, when no one else is in the bed, she goes all generous?

Once I got over the flare of rage (anger management this, baby) shock of her position choice, I had that exact same anxious thought I now get when I see the Kid’s glass (or, truthfully, anyone’s glass) at the edge of a table.

Did I intervene? Did I ooch my pooch over a tad, just in case?

Nope, I did what Dione Warwick would do–I walked on by.

Several times, actually.

Then, as I watched my recorded episode of 2 Broke Girls that fascinating Nova on particle physics in the living room, I heard a familiar, doggie moan emanating from the bedroom. I can only assume she had launched into another Great Squirrel Chase in her walnut brain of dreams.
Just as I am visualizing her canine fantasy, I heard this:

THUD!

No. Shittin. Way.

And when I finally paused my show and got off my ass walked into the bedroom, what did I find?

The dog only just then standing up and doing a big shake with a big WTF was THAT? I meant to wake up that way look on her fuzzy snout.

I laughed so hard I have the wet underpants to prove it could barely stand.

And I’m sure she’d like to thank her dad for his giant, cushiony pile of dirty laundry on the floor. He always has been her favorite.

But she still can’t look me in the eyes.

Have your animals done embarrassing things?

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[Note: This is not my dog. She would never allow such ridiculousness.]

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Dooooood, have we got some mice for you!

The garage is this way….

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Thanks for all the great beach walks, park runs counter-surfing adventures , bed-hogging and nostril/brain licks.
Here’s to ten more years, Boo Boo, of letting you in.

We love you.

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Let me first say that I am not opposed to personalized ringtones unless they’re stupid or they annoy me.

I, in fact, have a few special ringtones because how can you NOT have the Partridge Family’s I Think I Love You as a ringtone if such an option exists in the Universe??

But, let us set the scene, shall we?

The Hubs loves Becca, our wire-haired pointing griffon (Who’s the most beautiful girl? Who is!? Who is?! Guess who used to be before we got the dog…).

However, we can’t all be perfect like moi just like he doesn’t especially care for my crunching, the Hubs doesn’t like her barking.

A dog? Barking?? What the what?! Color me outraged.

Against my protests, he got her this evil torture device!

A Bark Collar!

Shock treatment on the World’s Most Beautiful Girl??!

By now, you’re probably ahead of me, but imagine my shock when I heard the Hub’s new cell phone ringtone for all incoming calls:

A BARKING DOG.

Pardon me?!

(If the neighbor’s dog isn’t enough, You can go listen here — Barking Dog Ringtone ( Mobile4arab.com ).mp3)

Why would he voluntarily do such a thing?!

His answer?

…because he loves her!

Un-freakin-believable!

Am I missing something here?! Somebody needs to explain this to me…

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Or, as I like to think of it, A Modern Suicide Modality.

I had a roommate who dressed her cats up for every holiday. Yes, little Joey and Chandler clearly wanted to die loved it.

But even she bought the outfits. She wasn’t so foolish as to tailor clothes to those beasts.

There must be a special subcategory of cuckoo eccentric cat lovers–those who make clothes for their cats?.

I know, you cat people seem practically pleased when you’re petting your fuzzy friend, who is purring away, appearing happy, and suddenly for no reason you get bit! Oh, ha, he just does that sometimes…

What?
(It’s intriguing the bleeding suffering you will head into endure when you love something, isn’t it?)

Can you imagine what would happen in the dog world equivalent? Pet-pet-pet-CHOMP! …Uh, Rover, how about a trip to “the farm”??

Anyway, for those masochist cat owners, this cloak-making project is right up your alley.

You get to do things like measure your cat from the back down the legs, from the neck to tail, and all around the neck. And I’m sure that will go well.

After you’ve applied band-aids, you cut and sew the cloak, and then yes, put elastic around the neck just to keep Muffy from ripping it into shreds in 3 seconds it looking smart.

If you look at the instructions page, the finished product is shown on…what’s that? Yes! A person’s arm.

Which, turns out, is perfect for covering up all those bloody scratch and bite marks.

Am I missing anything?

In sum, dogs, clearly superior, yes?

Or, do we just endure a less bloody different suffering in the canine crowd?

Nah, clearly superior.

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I confess my 7 going on 27 year old told me about it. The police grandparents will be glad to know her online video searching skills have greatly improved this summer and she now knows the words to Last Friday Night by Katy Perry.

Should people really be laughing? Poor panda. Maybe someone should get him a Zyrtac?

Oh, go ahead. We’re laughing with him…right?

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Be as clear as possible when stating to the Universe what you want.

Sure, I may have said, “It’d be great to have a couple of extra bucks right about now, Universe.”

But I didn’t mean this:

Or this:

But the Hubs didn’t load fast enough they are handsome, aren’t they?

Need a couple extra bucks?

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“True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice.”
- Samuel Johnston

“My friends are my estate.”
- Emily Dickinson

“I count myself in nothing else so happy
As in a soul rememb’ring my good friends.”
- William Shakespeare, Richard II

“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”
- Woodrow Wilson

Friends, they get us through rough patches; they celebrate the sunshine with us. The dearest ones see through our bullshit outward mask and into our true being and still drink with speak to us anyway.

What can possibly be better than having good friends?

I’ll tell you what–
Having good friends with chickens!

Thank you, good friends! This egg lover feels grateful for you every morning!

What do you think? Should we get chickens at chez Let the dog in?!

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