Author Archives: wendy

Another Easter Bunny Bites the Dust

Yes, it was probably about time. The Kid is eight, after all. Eight and half, she’d say.

Yes, I was careless and maybe wanting to be found out. I left the jelly bean bag in the cabinet where she could find it. Where she could put two and two together. Where she could begin that bumpy journey of losing her innocence.

“Mom, why are these same type of jelly beans in the cabinet that were in the eggs I found in the yard?!” she accused this weekend.

I had a choice. I could continue the lie with a oh-no-they’re-different or it-IS-odd-isn’t-it? But I took a few seconds and bit the bullet. I confessed. Those plastic eggs in the yard, the ones we reuse each year hello!, I put them out there.

And guess what? My little sophisticated, singing and dancing, runway modeling, eight-going-on-eighteen daughter cried. A lot.

And then created this gem for me:
I’m a “tairable person.”. .

We’re both still sad here. Her, for the loss of the Easter Bunny and being lied to by her parents.

Me, for her taking yet another, big step into growing up, up and away.

Damn bunny.

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Updated: Happy Spring!

[I spoke too soon. Scroll to the bottom to see my boyfriend! He's back! Maybe he's a subscriber!]

Spring may have finally sprung around the Let The Dog In neighborhood just in time before I started my murder spree.

I haven’t posted any bird pictures in awhile. I quit putting seeds out, and guess what? They apparently only visited to eat, the little users.

But I finally relented and put seeds out again. Maybe it’s a mutual-user situation, right? Everyone’s had one of those. In this one, I get some snaps, they get some seeds. What-the-f%$*-ever.

And he showed up, a very orange red crossbill.
See his little crossed bill? (Caught him with food in his mouth. Sorry, dude.) I can’t even see the cross bill part until I download the photos.

He brought his kid, too, a big, fluffy eater who ate from dad and from the feeder, and mostly stood there looking like a goofball. The gargantuan on the right is the baby.

Here are a few others who are showing up now–
Downy Woodpecker.
Nuthatch. They will eat in any direction, including hanging upside down.
House Finch. Or possibly a Purple Finch, but I only play a bird expert online the House Finch has streaks on his belly and I think this guy did. He didn’t cooperate in posing to let me know for sure, bird brain.

And, no, in case you’re wondering, my boyfriend hasn’t shown up yet. *sigh*
He does need time to get his yellow on, I suppose…

Have you been seeing any new springy, feathery friends lately?

**Here’s my boyfriend! He’s an American Goldfinch. Just in today, first sighting!

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A Shameless Peep at Our Diorama

Warning: the following blog post is a shameless plug for our Peeps diorama currently on display at the Bainbridge Public Library, where you must can go immediately to read great books cast a vote for the Kid and Hubs’ diorama in the library’s Peeps diorama contest.

Yes, another creative project! This one totally optional, but suggested by yours truly who then honey-badgered nicely nudged the Kid and Hubs to make something cool.

It is true at one point the following was heard in the house: “But, Mom, when are you going to do something?! You haven’t done anything on the diorama!!”

I’m the idea person. I bought the Peeps…

And they did a great job, see? Notice the painted marshmallow peach trees with real fern leaves?
Have you read this book, Where the Mountain Meets the Moon? It’s great and made me cry. When’s the last time a kid’s book made you cry (in a good way)? Old Yeller?

And who is hiding back there? Minli and Dragon, of course.
Dragon was the Peeps de resistance. Ba-da-ching!
Sharp teeth, but friendly as only a Peeps dragon could be.

So, go to the library and check out Where the Mountain Meets the Moon. And while you’re there, vote for Where the Mountain Meets the Peeps!

Although to be honest, it is true that the kid is not actually holding her breath to win. Why? Well, we’re guessing that the library’s prize will be….a book. Something made of paper and ink and relating in no way to electronics. *yawn* (this is the Kid’s yawn, not mine!)

But I say she should get her paper cuts while she can, before everything is tapping and clicking and dragging, right?

Am I the only one reading books the old-fashioned way?

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Dang Dog

I want to kill love my dog. She’s normally a decent enough dog as long as you’re not another dog and are a person with a penis.

Sure, she begs like she just got out of a concentration camp, but that’s just because the Hubs we’ve encouraged her. She even moans and growls to insist on treats in the morning.

But I can ignore all that. I can even ignore the way she ignores me to sidle up next to the Hubs and show her clear preference of humans in the household. Daily.

But as of today, she moved past annoying and into getting dropped off at a faraway, unnamed location expensively bad dog.

While waiting for us in the car, she chewed almost all the way through a seat belt. WTF??

She was extra frisky on our run this morning, yes. Much to the amusement of other walkers, she dragged me down the road as she frolicked in and out of mud puddles at high speed. Spring had sprung in her walnut-sized dog brain.

But she has never been destructive like this. Even as a puppy, she rarely chewed through anything. Maybe that one strap on my Teva sandal when I wanted a new pair of sandals anyway. But the freaking seat belt of my car?? Do you know how much those cost?!

I’m trying to plot my revenge, but it’s hard when she still just ignores me.

Here’s a video of another bad dog. This one’s cute, like every bad dog that isn’t mine. Just don’t show this clip to my bad dog and give her any more evil ideas.

Do you have a bad dog??

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The Shiny Coat Series: Moving It

What happened? What are you doing? No carbs? Calorie counting?

I’ve gotten some questions lately about hitting my Fake Weight, so since I want to totally jinx myself be helpful to others and encourage healthier lifestyles when I can, let’s look into this, shall we?

Calorie counting works great for maybe two people on this planet some, but it does not work for me, not when I was twelve and not now. I could never maintain a weight I reached from calorie counting.

I look at food groups instead. Veggies, fruits, legumes, nuts, seeds, grains, and meats I go for while I mostly avoid dairy and lots of desserts. And I got there mostly by noticing their effects on me, not as an external rule from somebody else. Dairy gives me your basic allergy symptoms, stuffy head, runny nose, foggy brain, tiredness; sugar leaves me tired, too, and craving more sugar.

But I think what’s happened to shift my body over the past year is exercise.

Turns out heart-pumping, blood rushing, sweat-inducing exercise burns up all those clingy calories I refuse to count. You can’t phone it in like I did for years reading Entertainment Weekly and barely breaking a sweat on the elliptical.

Also, to maintain a lower weight, the activity needs to be something you love or at least enjoy a little and fits into your current life situation. Find that thing. And it may not be your first preference, but that’s okay.

I personally would prefer being tipsy and sweating through my clothes on a crowded dance floor at midnight to a throbbing bass line, but guess what? Not so workable as a mom who lives on a sleepy island and has to get her kid to grade school in the morning. Maybe in a few years…

My second choice would be hiking up a small mountain, snacking at the top on a rocky outcropping with a water view, and losing sense of time coming down during great conversation. Unfortunately, driving a few hours each way and hiking for several hours doesn’t generally fit in my Real Life. Or anyone else’s.

This left me with. .*sigh* . .walking the dog. But then I started walking faster, and now we run excluding the two million pit stops she requires.

Maybe for you it’s going to a gym and reading trashy magazines as you cycle hard. Or maybe it’s walking fast while chatting with a friend. Or maybe you finally take that tango or hot yoga class. Or maybe you turn on Just Dance and go nuts when no one’s home. Maybe, if you’re like me, you need to get outside and do something to make you breathe hard to keep you from going batshit crazy.

Whatever it is, pick something. Change it if you get bored. Mix it up, walk a different path, cross-train, try a new class.

The more you move your body around, the more it will thank you and beg for more, and the more your energy will spread from just your tense head and tight shoulders, down into your toes.

So get out there and move it!

Have you found a way you like to move it?

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