How to Go Ziplining (for anxious, whiny babies)

Are you like me?

Have you become a parent, settled down into home life and couch-dom and gained weight accumulated more and more anxieties? While at the same time drinking wine and enviously watching others soar through life on tv, confronting gravity and their fears?

That plus the ease of regretful emails is why my friends and I went ziplining when we recently met up in Utah.

Yes, I sent the email…but I didn’t think any of them would say yes. We’re all 40-mumblemumble-year-old moms with young lives relying on us. But once the ball got rolling, it apparently couldn’t stop. I couldn’t bail when it was my idea, right?

To help us acclimate, we started with a short, lower zipline.
ziplining short lineThat’s me in pink. Feeling courage and fear simultaneously, daring greatly. No problemo. Brene Brown would be so proud.

Then, once our false sense of confidence was up, we rode a super steep and terrifying chair lift to the 8,500′ lookout area where the Big Mama zipline began.
wendy about to ziplineSee how calm I look, dangling and waiting for my turn? Yup. Right up until this happened–
ziplining longNotice the ridge and black drop off area. That’s when the panic attack started! When the ground disapFREAKINpeared.ziplining terrifyingThat’s when I realized I like and really cherish the feeling of ground beneath me. But I could not freeze in terror. I had to keep pulling the handle so that I could finally be reunited with Mother Earth. It was 2000 long feet of heart-pounding, tense, shallow breathing, everything they tell you not to do when completely freaking out.

So, here are my recommendations if somewhere in your yellow-bellied self there’s a part of you that wants to be able to say you ziplined go ziplining:

1. Peer pressure. So much that happens throughout the world can be attributed to not wanting to look bad to your friends – gym memberships, Nazis, dog agility trials, government shutdowns.

2. Alcohol. Yes, it was morning mid-day but it’s never too early for white wine, am I right?

3. A Facebook Account. Someone must see this! This is exactly the kind of thing Facebook was created for, people.

So, get out there, Nervous Nellies of the world! You’ll probably survive it!

And you’ll have a new standard for how terrifying anything is in your life. This isn’t nearly so bad as ziplining!

Then you, too, can have a cool Facebook cover photo!

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