I have recently made a discovery. I am sad, desperate child who will take any crumb
of chocolate chip cookie the Universe will toss to me. I’m not proud. I’m just confessing because I have realized a certain shall-we-say manipulation that you humans are powerless to refuse.
It is . . . my pink scarf.
To be honest, once I realized my powers I felt a tad guilty
, but hey, I got over that…
Here’s the deal. Whenever I wear my scarf, whenever wherever, someone tells me how awesome it is. They can’t help it.
So, now, I put it on
every day wondering what unsuspecting innocent will be my victim? (Last time it took 1 hour, and that included 40 minutes of driving alone).
And when they find I-like-your-scarf or what-a-pretty-scarf involuntarily pouring out of their mouths, I say Thank You and smile graciously on the outside
while I’m MWA-HA-HA-HAAAAA’ing and mentally putting another notch in my scarf-conquering belt inside.
But I wanted to
gloat share this insight because maybe you, too, have those times when you feel blue, or your prescription ran out you need a tiny boost from a total stranger in order to feel better about yourself.
My advice is this: Get
your own an awesome scarf, because you ain’t getting mine a) getting compliments feel good, b) manipulating the human race feels good, and c) having just one thought of hopeful expectation for your day was one of Oprah’s favorite things may save on your liquor store bill.
No promises on c).
Yes? What’s that? I’m listening…