This week I in a fit of delusion volunteered to chaperone the asylum lunatics second graders of my daughter’s school on their field trip to the Seattle Aquarium.
I thought it’d be fun. I love marine mammals. I once tended to injured and abandoned marine mammals here.
What I forgot about is all the other mammals that would be on the trip.
The 7 and 8 year-old ones.
The ones who argue about what exhibit to see next, how long to stay at the current one, who is really their friend, and where they can slink off into the sea of child molesters without me seeing them.
Sure, they look all calm and behaved here.
The day started with the announcement and my first clue I should invest in a nice flask in the shape of a Starbucks cup by the teacher of a “glitch” of how we were down to one bus, rather than two.
This led to a packed-to-the-brim bus ride into hell through island morning school traffic and road construction. Yes, that day, we had traffic.
After corralling them into the ferry and then keeping them all together through the streets of enticing garbage, kickable newspaper stands, and fascinating homeless people downtown Seattle, we arrived at the lovely Seattle Aquarium before they officially opened.
Which would have been super-duper cool, if they had let us in.
Instead, I had my charges playing Simon Says for fifteen minutes on the dock out front. Simon Says “JUMP!”
Actually, Simon did say “Hug me and say YOU’RE THE GREATEST EVER!” Which they did. Cuz Simon Said.
We eventually got into the aquarium where much arguing, hiding and yelling ensued.
They were less interested in this fur seal and more interested in the photo of the fur seal located on the touch screens they could manipulate, the little bozos techno natives.
Ignoring all the live wildlife around them, dress up time in scuba clothing was also popular.
Also, known as time-killer.
Finally, we wrapped up our time with what every aquarium visit needs when it’s at least an hour too long: a rousing game of tag in the front lobby.
However, I’m glad to report that no marine mammal was injured in the making of this post, and as far as I know but I’m not listening la-la-la, all our mammals returned to their respective homes at the end of the day.
Home, where I holed in my room boozing it up to recover and remind myself to never again bring to the Seattle Aquarium more than 2 young, two-legged mammals.
What field trips from hell have you endured?
Come join the Let the dog in! gang on Facebook and Twitter!!
Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.
you will love this story: a friend chaperoned her BI 1st grader’s trip to the farm this week—five dead animals on that field trip! You know those kids will talk about that for the rest of their lives. the list: dead bat! chicken, baby chick
, dead bloody fish with talon marks in it and I think a song bird as well but I can’t remember. Can you believe it. No one could have swept the farm for dead bodies before the first graders came through??
Well, THAT’S an educational field trip for the 1st graders!! I bet they will be talking about it for a looooooong time!
I’m too smart (and lazy) to go on any field trips. But maybe I should re-think my stance. After all, it’s good writing material.
Trish´s last [type] ..Sober
They are totally FULL of blog fodder! Hm, maybe I need to rethink this week’s trip…
You are my hero, class trips are my “favorite” lol it seems that you made the best of it though….nice save with Simon says
leeanna´s last [type] ..Q&A- How to install wireless security system- funny or not
I went with the 4th graders to the houston museum of natural science where I paid full admission so I could follow them as they (and apparently every other 4th grader in the houston area, if you go by the buses) zipped from exhibit to exhibit, never really looking at anything unless it was a computer. I think next year I’ll skip it and save the money. The imax was cute though (born to be wild)
kay, your trip sounds vaguely familiar…