The Shiny Coat Series: Weight, Weight, I’ll Tell You!

Yes, it’s back, The Shiny Coat Series, where I attempt to discuss healthy concepts and actions to improve your general surroundings. And by surroundings, I mean your hips. Not to mention also improving all those lovely internal organs we like to overburden and ignore!

So, where are we? It’s a new year, and if you’re like me, it’s a new higher weight level. You always hear about the dreaded holiday weight gain, and some idiots debate its existence.

Speaking for myself, it is real. Very real. Starting with Halloween (sure, some underachievers start at Thanksgiving, but I get a jump on those losers!), sugar starts in with me.

That damn fun-size (oh, it’s fun alright) peanut butter cup is the gateway drug to a good 5-10lb. gain for me by January. Especially if I add in a dash of oh-what-da-hell-I’m-already-eating-everything-anyways.

But now that we can acknowledge the fat pants adult acne renewed snoring bitchiness problem, what the heck do we do about it?

Sit down with a nice merlot, a bag of white cheddar popcorn and contemplate constellations?

Well, that might have worked a decade back but…. over a year ago I did a detox/elimination diet (nothing but veggies/lean proteins/non-wheat grain/some fruit) for three weeks, so while I’m not heading straight into no everything realm this time around (it is hard to do in winter anyways with fewer fresh vegetable options), I am starting today leaving out sugar and dairy and refined carbs, such as crackers, granola bars, and most breads/baked goods.

What the freak is left after that?? Marshmallows and nondairy Cool Whip? *imagining the dietary possibilities*

Nooooooo. There are some healthful alternatives. Yes, I’m looking at you, giant sack of brown rice and you, carton of eggs.

And, dare I say, that certain color of the rainbow we Americans like to discuss, propose for politics, but not eat–yes, I am talking about greens.

Over the next few weeks as I turn into a total bitch get healthier, I’ll check back with you guys for therapy a status report.

And if you’re starting some new regime, or re-igniting an old one, please feel free to share what you’re doing. Nothing like a lil accountability in da community, right?

Meanwhile, Bossy and me will be toasting with our protein smoothies.

They taste better than they look.

Really. No, they don’t. Yes.