Monthly Archives: August 2010

The Anti-Birthday Letter

Posted on August 28, 2010 by wendy| 3 Comments

Dear Kid,

Yes, it’s your birthday. Yes, you’re finally 7 years old.

I hope you’re happy with yourself, and all your constant growing and stretching. I just want to know: when will it stop??

Where is my cute, monkey toddler? The one I found climbing kitchen cabinets at 4am and smearing food coloring on the counters?

She’s practicing her Hanna Montana guitar video game, that’s where.

She’s combing her hair v-e-r-y slowly while gazing at herself in the mirror.

She’s sticking out her hips (where’d those come from?) and posing for photos with her arm up, fingers flicked, in the air.

She’s asking when she can start driving a car.

Somehow my own birthdays aren’t hitting me so hard as your birthdays.

Can you just slow down a teeny bit? For your old mom?

No?

Well, as we say around here, I love you anyway.

Happy Birthday, Kid.

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Posted in aging, events, growth, kid

Oxycodone: a dialogue

Posted on August 23, 2010 by wendy| 4 Comments

Ever since the hubs broke his leg real good, he’s been taking Oxycodone for the pain.

Wikipedia describes this drug as “an opioid analgesic medication synthesized from opium-derived thebaine.”

After living with someone taking this, I’m beginning to see it more as “that half-drunk idiot you never wanted your brother to hang out with.”

Here’s the kind of thing conversation we have with it:

Normal Hubs: Could you get me another pillow for my leg?

Oxy: I’M GONNA REORGANIZE ALL OUR GEAR IN THE GARAGE TODAY!

Normal Hubs: Maybe I’ll go out to the mailbox today and get the mail, but then I’ll rest.

Oxy: HEY, LET’S GO CAMPING!

Normal Hubs: Whew! I’m a little tired from doing that load of laundry.

Oxy: I CAN TOO CAMP! I’LL DO ALL THE WORK! YOU WON’T HAVE TO!

Normal Hubs: I might have overdone it a little today walking that half block.

Oxy: I CAN TOO DRIVE! EVEN THOUGH I BROKE BOTH BONES, I CAN STILL FLEX MY RIGHT FOOT UP AND DOWN.

Normal Hubs: Can you get me more chamomile tea?

Oxy: WHAT IF I ONLY DRIVE ON THE ISLAND?? IT’LL BE FINE! WHY ARE YOU SO UPTIGHT!?

Me: Give me one of those pills.

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Posted in Bainbridge Island, WA, brilliant ideas, health

Tagged

this is your brain….

Posted on August 16, 2010 by wendy| 1 Comment

dough
(you DO remember that PSA, don’t you? don’t act all oh-I’m-too-young-to-remember-that)

this is your my brain on stress…
DSC_0065
No, not a squid, but an attempt at pizza making…

It started off innocently enough. I was going to make pizza for the family, nice, fresh homemade pizza.

We’ve been under stress lately and this seemed like a good solution.

Under pressure? What you need is to make a fresh pizza! Sure, that’s a good answer….

Just remember one thing:

If you had a pizza stone but it cracked and you threw it away a year ago, you cannot slide your uncooked pizza off the peel (that wooden paddle thingy) into the oven where it then lands on the bare oven rack, dripping and sagging in between the metal rods, like the raw, mushy dough that it is.

Yup. Just remember that and your pizza will turn out great.

Also, Papa Murphy’s pizza isn’t really so bad.

Remember that, too, just in case.

*sigh*

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Posted in brilliant ideas, food, weirdo

A Pictoral Update

Posted on August 6, 2010 by wendy| 3 Comments

Life’s been a little rough around here, what with the Hubs breaking his leg so expertly and having his work situation equally precarious.

To draw you a picture, I’ve felt kind of like this:
shark
(I’m the one on the boat)

Or maybe it’s not so dramatically dangerous as that. Maybe it’s more like this:
house bridge
(We’d be the house, not the river)

So, I’m working on letting go of these images.

I’m trying to imagine it more like this:
hammock

Or possibly just this:
stretch

Now, how to make that happen.

Execution, that’s always the difficult part, isn’t it?

Perhaps, I’ll take the short cut and just make this:
marg

Although then I may look like this:
headache

What’s a girl to do? How are you feeling these days?

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Posted in animals, brilliant ideas, health