Let’s talk a moment about friends, shall we?
No one warns you that starting your own family may snuff out friendships. If not snuff out, at least dampen them a bit.
Okay, to be honest, someone did warn me. But I didn’t believe him. I figured like so many married men who were “suffering” to one extent or another, this was standard b.s. offered to a single woman. Naturally, I scoffed.
Now, I see.
The Mom life is a busy life, with many demands and pressures. Mom friendship consists of “being friends” along with some other “function,” such as airing out kids at the park, walking, or if you’re lucky, getting drunk at karaoke. Kind of like Bret Michaels lately, these relationships are more “busy” than “deep.”
Is it difficult for you moms to find friends you can truly confide in? Someone who actually wants you to confide in them, unlike the hubs who’d prefer to hear the dog’s grievance (as if any dog of ours has a grievance! what? more pillows for her on our bed?)?
I can’t blame the hubs. Men, we love you, but you are just different. Your friendships have always consisted of someone to get drunk with, shoot birds or mammals hoops the shit with. You don’t get it.
Finding a good friend when you’re an adult is like that awkward hell of blind dates. You meet someone, you sniff them out, their attire, their cultural references, their sense of humor. You wonder if you’d “mesh.” You may suggest a coffee date, a shopping date, perhaps a playdate with kids if you’re not too sure about the whole scene (yes, adding toddlers always improves things!).
You’re never sure if they liked you or if you could trust them with important personal information, like who your latest TV crush is.
And with kid pressures in the mix, you’re never sure if they intentionally hung up on you or if their kid really was drinking glue at that very moment. Glue is quite a popular beverage.
Overall, I find it’s a slow and complicated scene (longer than me knitting that damn hat), this making new friends as a mom.
More people are involved in the selection process; more people add their own obstacles and complications. More people are drinking glue.
Do you find it easy or hard to make new friends? And “friending” on Facebook doesn’t count!
Come join the Let the dog in! gang on Facebook and Twitter!!
Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.
It’s super hard – even without kids. Factor in trying to make “couple friends” where the guys get a long and the women click too and it’s nearly impossible. That and no one has any time anymore! Crazy.
I have a hard time making new friends. I’m actually very shy…for some reason, that surprises alot of people.
I “know” people and am “friendly” with people but I have very few friends.
oh, kathleen, the couple issue! notice i didn’t even get to that. to find a foursome where everyone is happy together, that is HARD! and i’ve noticed too, we have more machines working for us and less time for friends.
dumb, that is so true about the “knowing” and being “friendly”–i think that’s true for me, too. or maybe making friends as adults is just this way? you’re not hanging out in a college dorm getting to know people anymore?
well done Wendy! it is sooo hard. not at all what I thought it would be either. and the couple thing…..ugh.