This year I was tortured, beaten and blackmailed and began volunteering for a writers organization on Bainbridge called Field’s End. It’s for a good cause, as they say (if you’re going to write, doing it better would be nice for the rest of us).
Turns out, there are lots of writers on this island, speaking and attending the events. I guess they are attracted to the lack of anything interesting to distract them peacefulness and inspiring natural beauty here on Bainbridge Island.
What’s my job? I post the flyers for their monthly writer’s talk. It is very brainy work, and practically makes me a community organizer, well on my way to the presidency.
Sure, running around taping and tacking flyers to bulletin boards and windows sounds easy enough, but NO. There is a certain skill, a certain nuance, a certain mafia wars to the job.
Bulletin board space for advertising is limited, and this island probably has the highest per capita rate of nonprofit organizations in the universe, although Martians, I’ve heard, tend to favor the nonprofits, as well, what with all their freezing temperatures making shelters so important.
Every month I’m in the trenches, macheting space on the boards, tossing the ads for events I deem unworthy – who really needs to see those Kratt Brothers again?. So you can imagine my chagrin when I realized a poster I put up 24 hours earlier had been taken down.
That’s just not right. Like a vampire on werewolf property, someone’s gonna get bit. Writers may not be as entertaining as tap dancers or opera singers (well, maybe not the opera singers…), but we are still part of the creative arts and deserve a spot on the board.
Without writers, where would that leave all those hit tv shows, like Top Chef, American Idol, or Project Runway? Oh, never mind.
Still, I’ve been wronged in the turf wars! I’ve been trying to come up with a revenge tactic ever since.
I’d totally plaster ALL their windows with dozens of flyers in retaliation, like a hit and run, but unfortunately the flyers do identify the group, which defeats the necessary anonymous part of “hit and run”…
Plus, that would probably use up all the flyers I have which I am, hello, supposed to be distributing like a good little babbo. You know, for the writers.
And I can’t really boycott this offending group because I already bought tickets for their next performance. And told the Kid about it. *ahem*
This really highlights the problem with living in a small community where people have to do stupid stuff, like work it out or find a consensus or get better at not getting caught.
You’re devious. What’s a good revenge?
I’m not afraid to whack a guy with my piece. Or at least inflict a paper cut with a flyer.
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