the trouble with pigeons

Pigeons get slammed all the time, don’t they? Rats with wings, right? We all hate them, don’t we?

They surround you by the hundreds when you happen to sit in a piazza accidentally dropping crumbs from that freshly baked, crispy-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside baguette.

Like you’re in a Hitchcock movie, only without the special effects.

They poop all over your car windows, usually in the center of whatever spot you need to look out of.

Who knows what nasty diseases they might be carrying.

Then I noticed that even though we don’t have large piazzas or fabulous baguettes on this island, we do have a healthy pigeon population.

I’ll admit, at first, it was cute. Cute to see these gigantor birds descend and try to eat from our feeder that was obviously not made for a creature this size.

Cute to hear coo-coo, coo-coo in the trees around our house.

But then, I noticed that they are the bird equivalent of teenage boys on the high school basketball team.

They eat all the bird food.

And want more. Pigs with wings, I say.

And while waiting to push their cousins off the feeder, they poop on my tiny box of lettuces I’m trying to not to kill.

And even if they are not eating all the food and pooping out all the food, there is this pigeon:

This pigeon doesn’t want to eat or poop; he wants to drive a bus, stay up late, and get a puppy.

And this pigeon is just as aggravating, or more so, than the live pigeons. Why?

Because this pigeon is able to take bedtime and turn it into a scream-a-thon as the Kid argues with the pigeon.

Over and over.

I may ban this pigeon from the house for infinity.

He makes all that cooing and bird crap appealing.

Are there any books you can’t stand at bedtime or anytime?

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8 responses to “the trouble with pigeons

  1. Are you kidding me!? I LOVE any book by Mo Willems. Have you read Knuffle Bunny? Too cute.

    The books the I HATE at bedtime are the I SPY books. I try to tell my kids that they have to pick a book with a story, but every time they pick those stupid I SPY books. And I’m stuck for hours playing “I spy with my little eye . . .” Argh!

    Brookes last blog post..Preston Ray Greenwood, a.k.a. Toast

  2. I agree with Brooke on both counts – Mo Willems rocks and I Spy is no fun at bedtime. It’s great for the airplane though and in waiting rooms!

    DH hates Skippyjon Jones, but I can’t say I share his feelings.

  3. brooke, knuffle bunny i can live with. it doesn’t evoke the loud call and response of the pigeon books. and we have the equivalent of i spy, 1001 things, and i totally agree. i need STORY, child!

    shelly, you have to get into the accents for skippy. it’s a little anti-ethnic, isn’t it? mocking stereotypes? has any group complained?

  4. Oh man, I freakin’ love that book. But, yeah, I can see how it’s not an ideal bedtime story. Have you ever read, “Click Clack Moo: Cows that Type”? It’s cute and fun and, most importantly, not interactive. My son’s only a year, though, so we’re big into board books right now.

  5. ooh, no book suggestions but thanks for the giggle!
    .-= Kathleen@ForgingAhead´s last blog ..Feeling Stonger =-.

  6. How would you deter pigeons from eating out of your feeder? Do they make “pigeon-baffles”?

  7. Isn’t that a mourning dove? The kind of pigeons who tend to stroll around the city (here, anyway) have a bit more color and often a striped wing. I actually like them. But I lOVE mourning doves and their low sad call. Mine lurk around the base of the feeders, snarfing up what the other birds spil. They are piggies, but I’m glad ot have them around.
    .-= secret agent woman´s last blog ..Time to call it a day. =-.

  8. kerrie, we do have that book and i lobby for it a lot! it’s so cute.

    dumblond, i have NO idea how to feed the song birds and skip the pigeons! let me know if you come up with something!

    secret agent, around here we get these band-tailed piggies, i mean, pigeons (i had to look them up because i thought they are doves, too). 🙂