Monthly Archives: March 2009

“squirrel proof” proof

Most advertising is too exaggerated to believe–”a taste you’ll find irresistible” “melts in your mouth, not in your hand,” “hours of sexual pleasure” you know what I mean.

But now, we find a product living up to its claims: the squirrel-proof bird feeder.

See Mr. Squirrel, hungry, curious.
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Hm. Kinda slippery.
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Nice Britney shot, eh?
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If I could only get a better angle…
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Rats. Maybe if that dog would quit barking, I could think of a plan!

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all a-twitter

So, my interest in Twitter.com has bounced back. I highly recommend it if you are procrastinating or avoiding something, like chores or homework.
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Why the new-found interest? I’m going to embarrass myself now more than admitting I watch a daytime soap opera. Why? There are celebrities tweeting now, like Eddie Izzard, Rob Corddry, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, Christopher Walken and Ellen Degeneres. Not that all you regular tweeters aren’t interesting, but…you’re not. Well, not like Ashton posting a butt shot of Demi bending over in a bikini.

The other reason I’ve been back on Twitter: my dog is twittering now. Turns out she’s kind of a whiner/schemer.

If you want to kill some time, come follow us:
me–twitter.com/letthedogin
Becca–twitter.com/beccadog

You’ll probably regret it.

[If you visit this site, rather than read these in a feed, you'll also see our tweets in the sidebar.]

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rhymes with duck

I’m talking about luck, people (although, admittedly my mind may still be in the gutter after that burlesque show).

We had a day recently where sun/weekend/camera/family all combined, and the Let the Dog in! household went out, to our local park, Battle Point Park. An appropriate name given what happens with your child when it’s time to go….

Let the bird edufikationalism begin!

Many of these ducks are winter visitors to the Puget Sound area and will soon be taking off for….some place to screw around to make baby ducks Canada or at least that pond by that mall north of Seattle.

We’ll start with the basics: Mallard.
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A handsome enough fellow, kinda dapper-looking with that bright green head, but not too unusual. As a child I, personally, used to “feed da ducks” back home in Texas. These guys seem to live anywhere, the cockroach of ducks. They are the origin of almost every domestic duck. That’s a kind of fowl monopoly, isn’t it, not to be confused with another kind of foul monopoly, like Exxon or Perez Hilton.

Check out his gal pal:
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Now them’s some hot breast feathers, eh?

Here’s one you may not know: American Wigeon (not to be confused with the Eurasian Wigeon, which waits in long lines for bread crumbs and worries about the state of the euro). These guys paddle along, all cool-like.
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Well, I should say, at least we’re not Mallards.

Now we come to a new guy (for me, anyway): Ring-necked Duck.
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He has a problem. Someone obviously named him without looking at him. Where’s the RING?? Beats me. If that stupid summer intern (or whoever was not being paid for a duck inventory) had seen him, they might’ve called him Spats-face Duck. But he does dive and dabble, so he can’t be all bad.

Here, we come to a certain duck I knew from Alaskan summers: Bufflehead.
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Small, but dramatic, he’s hard to miss in a crowd. While other ducks are skimming the surface, he’s a diver and not afraid to show it. He might be the James Bond of ducks.
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Not sure what part of him that is, but it’s cute, yes? The wife watches: Haven’t you had enough? Don’t you dive when I’m talking to you!

Finally, we have what I can only guess is the butt of many quack-up jokes: Northern Shoveler.
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Check out that ridiculous beak. Amazing he can lift his head. But he puts it to good use foraging across the water’s surface. And, well, you know what they say about big beaks….

Maybe I shouldn’t tease the Shoveler. Maybe he’s the Cyrano of ducks, a romantic at heart, disadvantaged by an unfortunate evolutionary twist. You know, like Richard Lewis.

Are you getting out and about where you live? Enjoying the shift into spring?

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growth by burlesque

For the 3rd year in a row, our local playhouse theater hosted these lovely ladies, Atomic Bombshell this past weekend. And I saw my first real, live striptease, ladies and gentlemen! Heavy on the strip and the tease. *fans blushing cheeks*

Let me tell you, even though these women were supposed to be from New Orleans, they have a thing or two to teach us PNW’ers about layering. Ahem.
And un-layering.
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It was clear to me right off the bat that I am woefully inadequate in that department as none of my undergarments have any fringe. Not counting the unraveling elastic….

Then, there was the tassle action. And, oh boy, was there! Up, down, all around.
And they weren’t like these:
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They were, er, smaller and, er, daintier, and, er, glittery-er, and saw more action than these tassles ever will even if they were hanging near an open window in a hurricane.

No, the Bombshells had plenty to teach us, reg’lar fok, including the fine art of glove removal. In our house, the only mystery in glove removal is what spot on the floor the wet, mucky glove will land.
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To this, the Bombshells say, Au contraire! The ceremony, the dance, the flirting, the hip-swaying, all glove-related, lead to such joy, such surprise, such thrill!
(For example, I had no idea you could take a glove off with your shoe!)

Yes, we old married ladies (and men??) have much to learn from these frolicking sexual beings, not the least of which is, from the looks of things this weekend, having fun.

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Well, Doc, lately I get these pounding headaches.

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Sphyrapicus ruber (red-breasted sapsucker)

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oh, he’s a lumberjack….

Look what this woodpecker did in our yard!
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Well, I can’t say for sure about that cause/effect part for our broken alder. I may have been watching The View and eating crumb cake muffins that morning was probably working with the Kid on her Latin flash cards and didn’t actually see it break like that.
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Colombo always said the criminal returns to the scene of the crime. And he looks guilty, doesn’t he?

Even if he isn’t guilty, I’m sure he wished he did it.

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already, she’s learning lessons the hard way

Sometimes, your children have good, helpful advice. Or, accurate information, at least, that they have determined on their own, through exploration, experimentation or maybe, just plain dares.

While driving today, I was sternly advised from the backseat (the Kid) to “never, ever put your finger in your ear and then in your mouth.”

Why?
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“‘Cuz it tastes nasty!!”

I guess, some lessons she will have to learn on her own. Might as well start early.

[And, no, you could not pay me enough to find out the full extent of this body "taste-testing."]

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