Tuesday, July 29th, 2008...12:43 am
my kid COULD have drawn that….and other parental confessions
Folks, it’s confession time. I just need to get a few things off my chest [insert boob joke here].
I’m figuring it’s not only me who does this. Tell me that’s true.
Here’s the scene:
Your rushed for time. A little friend’s birthday party is about to start, and you realize you forgot to have your child make the birthday card (we usually do this since it’s a fun activity and hell, you all just toss the cards anyway, right? No? Is someone out there keeping the friggin’ birthday cards?? Like in a scrapbook or something?! Raise your hand if you want to kill this person.).
Anyway, while stressing for time, you plagiarize and make the card yourself, art circa-preschooler-style.
Which, I also confess, happens to be pretty close to my personal art capabilities. Do I disgust you?
It’s true; I might have been raised by wolves.
Now that Kid is starting to write, I may have to give up the charade.
Or not. My handwriting can be pretty indecipherable. There was all that rushed, sloppy, law school essay question writing….(which went something like, “you could argue THIS but on the other hand, you could argue THAT” — only longer).
One more confession, as if I haven’t sickened you enough yet.
Now that we’ve entered the online world of Littlest Pet Shop (more on THAT another time), I have been persuaded to play the games as Kid’s character in order to gain money so she can BUY certain items at the shops in that cartoon world.
See, online world…real life, startlingly similar.
Kitty Funfun really needed that wind chime for the garden.
I feel better now that we’ve cleared this mephitic air, don’t you? What’s my penance, father readers?
[I'm not alone, am I? You're faking things, too, right? We're all going to hell, yes?]
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24 Comments
July 29th, 2008 at 4:26 am
And my kid wrapped the present too, I swear.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Oh, your still an amateur; wait until it’s time for the kids to do science and history projects. Thank goodness I’m creative and artsy or my kids would fail those subjects.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Oh Wendy, you crack me up. And we are TOTALLY cut from the same cloth!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I’ll be standing right next to you in hell
July 29th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Oh, hellz yeah! Great tip: use your left hand. looks more authentic.
I’ve done my first grader’s homework many times because I forgot to make her do it.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
No way. I have this terrible way of making it look like an adult doing really really bad art. So sad.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Okay, I’m starting to feel better about myself now….thanks!
July 31st, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Why the need to fake it? I just stick a tag on that says
To: Kid who’s having the party
From: My kid
July 31st, 2008 at 2:54 pm
The card thing…my kids ask me to make the cards. I did that for awhile then I just couldn’t take the pressure. Now the kid is lucky if I get a store bought one.
For my kids, it Build-a-Bearville. Ugh.
July 31st, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Too funny! I am learning some great things for when my little girl starts school
July 31st, 2008 at 10:12 pm
At 2 and half, my daughter’s still at an age where it’s just as fast to get her to scribble something as it would be for me to fake it… perhaps I should stockpile some of her artwork for these future emergencies.
Happy POW!
August 1st, 2008 at 12:21 am
Wow, following your example would make my life so much easier and simple.
I am coming over to the dark side!
August 1st, 2008 at 5:01 am
Okay, if we’re confessing along the same lines as the cards have you ever done your kindergartners homework for her? At the last minute before leaving to take my daughter to school last year sometimes I would remember homework wasn’t done. So trying to speed things along I would “help” her. Mostly I just colored things in and let her do the writing and it wasn’t every week or anything I did this. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s every “helped” with the homework in this way ;).
August 1st, 2008 at 6:26 am
OK, in my book you get points for making cards. Throwing them out or not, it is way faster to just buy them then make them. But my kids are under 2, so we aren’t making too many crafts just yet!
August 1st, 2008 at 6:49 am
HIGH-FIVE!!!!
Guilty as charged.
p.s. You are hilarious!! where have you been all my life??!!
Happy POW!
August 1st, 2008 at 7:28 am
You’re supposed to include cards with kids gifts??!
August 1st, 2008 at 8:28 am
Good stuff! I think I probably would. Haven’t had the opportunity yet, but I’m sure my day is coming! Thanks for the laugh. Happy POW!
August 1st, 2008 at 8:52 am
Since you’ve gone and revealed the card secret, I might as well admit to it. Oh, SO guilty. I think citizen of the world has the right idea- just a little tag. Yes, I just decided, I’m tagging it from now on.
August 1st, 2008 at 11:10 am
You are so much smarter than me! The thought of making my own cards to look like my kids has never come to me… I was just proud of my cheap way to both entertain the kids and provide a card.
August 1st, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Oh, Monica! Check back with me in a few months and we’ll see how that’s going…..
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:46 am
LOL this is sucha funny story! This is very honest 2 put this all on your blog for us all to read! Happy POW!
patrices last blog post..I’ve got nothing
August 3rd, 2008 at 11:09 am
How much do I LOVE the word “mephitic”?
A LOT. It’s my new favorite.
All because of you and your devious greeting card forgeries.
bejewells last blog post..10 Lies I Told This Week (and the secret truths behind them)
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Can you say Webkinz? My husband spends an unfortunate amount of time raising KinzCash so the 6 year old can buy tons of crap for his pets (to date, 9 pets). It’s so bad, that now my mother in law has bought her own pet so she can play. She has two pets and plays for hours each night. This can’t be healthy.
As for birthdays, I am so cheap I buy the 1 dollar generic gift bags at Wally Mart and write the kids name directly on the bag with a marker, usually at the last minute, in whatever color I can find handy.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:27 am
[...] I confessed a few weeks ago about certain artistic endeavors I took on. Now, I have a new confession: I don’t really like the summer Olympics. [...]
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