Monthly Archives: July 2008

Project Runway notes, or Tim in da hood

This week from Project Runway (spoilers included!):

tim_gunn.jpgMy ears bled last night when Tim Gunn said “Holla!” Did yours? I think he thought he was ordering a sandwich, bless his heart.

suede.jpgSuede, Mr. blue mohawk man, Wendy thinks that Suede should either SHUT UP or learn about first person pronouns. Wendy does not like his running commentary in third person; it makes Wendy crazy and Wendy might jump off a ledge one Wednesday night.

HOWEVER, did you notice that Suede said “my” last nite? Yup. Wendy knew he was faking.

[Even writing this way for a few sentences makes Wendy unhappy.]

leanne1.jpgLeanne gets a gold star this week for listening to Tim and making what Wendy I thought should have been the winning outfit. Are ya with me on this?

kenley.jpgI mean, Kenley‘s had more of the artsy-fartsy thing going on, but hello, does any woman want a dress that purposely makes her butt bubble out like the turkey in the Macy’s parade? Did anyone like this dress?

emily.jpgThen we have Emily, the loser. And what’s sad about her loss is her utter lack of awareness at the yuckiness of the dress she made. Nina called it: Carmen Miranda, Emily, Carmen Miranda.

Only worse. And without fruit for snacking.

Or did you guys like that dress and now I’ve insulted you? Did you think Emily should have gone home?

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Learn-A-Word Wednesday: claque \KLACK\

noun:

1. A group hired to applaud at a performance.
2. A group of fawning admirers.

Charles Bukowski suffers from too good a press– a small but loudly enthusiastic claque.
– Kenneth Rexroth, “There’s Poetry in a Ragged Hitch-Hiker”, New York Times, July 5, 1964

Claque comes from French, from claquer, “to clap,” ultimately of imitative origin.

clap.jpgYes, you know what I’m thinking. This is what parents are to their kids, except without the payment part.

It starts off small enough.
Peed on the potty? Yay! Wrote your name? Yay! Cooked scrambled eggs? Yay!

Later, it turns….
Got a job at the mall? Yay! Met some loser at work? Yay. Quitting school to be a carny (no offense, Jenn)? Yay?

I want my OWN claque, which could be way more rewarding than having your own clique.
Walked the dog? Yay! Washed the sheets? Yay! Put the gun down before any postal worker was hurt? Yay!

Do you have a clique or a claque? [Clique? Claque? Clique? Claque? Oh, horseback riding is fun, too!]

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my kid COULD have drawn that….and other parental confessions

Folks, it’s confession time. I just need to get a few things off my chest [insert boob joke here].

I’m figuring it’s not only me who does this. Tell me that’s true.

kidpaint.jpgHere’s the scene:
Your rushed for time. A little friend’s birthday party is about to start, and you realize you forgot to have your child make the birthday card (we usually do this since it’s a fun activity and hell, you all just toss the cards anyway, right? No? Is someone out there keeping the friggin’ birthday cards?? Like in a scrapbook or something?! Raise your hand if you want to kill this person.).

Anyway, while stressing for time, you plagiarize and make the card yourself, art circa-preschooler-style.

Which, I also confess, happens to be pretty close to my personal art capabilities. Do I disgust you?

It’s true; I might have been raised by wolves.

Now that Kid is starting to write, I may have to give up the charade.

Or not. My handwriting can be pretty indecipherable. There was all that rushed, sloppy, law school essay question writing….(which went something like, “you could argue THIS but on the other hand, you could argue THAT” — only longer).

One more confession, as if I haven’t sickened you enough yet.

lps.jpgNow that we’ve entered the online world of Littlest Pet Shop (more on THAT another time), I have been persuaded to play the games as Kid’s character in order to gain money so she can BUY certain items at the shops in that cartoon world.

See, online world…real life, startlingly similar.

Kitty Funfun really needed that wind chime for the garden.

I feel better now that we’ve cleared this mephitic air, don’t you? What’s my penance, father readers?

[I'm not alone, am I? You're faking things, too, right? We're all going to hell, yes?]

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tv tears

Today, Absolutely Bananas has suggested the subject of HEARTBREAK.

What first sprang to mind on this topic? Easy.

The cancellation of Men in Trees (I can’t even link to a show page because abc.com acts like it never existed).

Yes, it was Northern Exposure remade (with a female lead, yay! although it was nutjob Anne Heche, boo!). But it was cute, and it kinda sorta actually captured some reality of living in southeast Alaska (which I did for almost seven years). And they had a show blog, Blogs in Trees, but that too is GONE. SI-A-NARA, BABEEEE.

Delayed by the Writers’ Guild strike, like many others, the show just never regained its footing.

And, as misery loves company, I am happy to report that this was a heartbreak I shared. Yes, the hubs (a true Alaskan) actually watched a show WITH me! Normally, I watch chick shows and he walks out. Or he finds an old Steven Segal movie on TBS, and I walk out.

We finally had a show to share. Then, they cancel it.

I hoped the reports were wrong. I prayed to the cancellation gods to take someone else. Take Ugly Betty. (I never got that show.) But no, when is the interwebs ever wrong?

And as sure as Britney’s not getting custody, one day, POOF. Gone.

I’m looking for a cheap, easy fill-in rebound kinds of shows. ABC, are you listening? Samantha Who better not become Samantha Where. I’m too fragile to suffer another loss.

Have you shed any TV tears lately? Or ever?

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Lessons from Project Runway this week

I have just a few notes from PR, including spoilers, so be forewarned.

wesley.jpgFirst off, Wesley‘s dress WAS bad (and he seemed to know it), so adios. Also, his name kinda bugged me. The Hubs would guess he got beat up on the playground a lot.

blayne.jpgBlayne, who annoyed me the first show, cracked me up with all his mocking of Stella and her luv of leather (or “leatha!” as he said it). She somehow pulled out a good one this time, so I’ll give her that.

pr2_bios_nina.gifThen during judging, Nina Garcia (or, as Heidi says, “NEE-NAH GAH-SEEYAH”) provided a little profound advice that we should all heed:
Shiny, tight and short = cheap look.

Good to know. Better return my Kid’s latest fairy dress.

leanne.jpgLastly, we come to Leanne. Oh, Leanne, Leanne, Leanne. I like you, but have you NOT been paying attention to ANY prior season?

LISTEN TO TIM!! If Tim says there’s too much going on, there’s TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Even I know that, and I can only sew on buttons. But I wouldn’t sew on TOO MANY buttons, if Tim said not to.

Are ya with me on this stuff, readers? Did you agree with Wesley going home?

Tune in next week for more PR reviews…..

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Learn-A-Word Wednesday: mephitic \muh-FIT-ik\

adjective:

1. Offensive to the smell; as, mephitic odors.
2. Poisonous; noxious.

Mephitic is the adjective form of mephitis, “a foul-smelling or noxious exhalation from the earth; a stench from any source,” from the Latin.

I’ll probably get in trouble for this one for revealing personal information (hi hubs! luv ya!), but wth, this IS a blog.

First thing that came to mind when I saw this word: Kid’s toots.

I don’t know WHAT she has been eating to suddenly cause these exorbitant tooting sessions, but there you have it. Some even have a dash of the extra-stinko.

She’s totally bypassed the dog’s fart level, which if you recall, is a pretty high bar.

I wonder if there is some medical reason, like as they grow their intestines wrap and unwrap inside causing gas bubbles to build up occasionally (sounds good, right?).

Or maybe it’s all those beans she keeps eating.

I’m not sure.

Are you smelling roses lately or something less lovely and more mephitic?

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Attention! Reptile class now in session!

Since we had all those thrush photos here and here and here and here, here and here, today is equal time for reptiles.

Geez, I was turning into a birdieblogger. So, this is probably not equal time…

We saw the Reptile Man today. Once again, another excellent show.

dsc_0143.JPGCobra, looking all mean and scary.

dsc_0141.JPGThese guys, Gaboon Viper, are the real deal, longest fangs and strongest venom of venomous snakes. Me, I just think they’re real purdy.

dsc_0125.JPGLittle tortoise, only 16, has many years to go, like maybe 200. This shot reminds me of that Australian comic with the emu puppet. Anyone remember him? No, just me?

dsc_0122.JPGWe’re out of the crab today, would you like some soft-shell turtle instead?

dsc_0132.JPGThen he did this little bit with the alligator. Like a carnival act.

dsc_0131.JPGIf you rub their eyes, they sorta pass out. Their blood pressure drops or something. I’m not sure, but the hubs does the same thing.

dsc_0154.JPG She DID have lovely, thoughtful eyes.

dsc_0149.JPGThe albino Burmese Python reached out and made new friends.

dsc_0157.JPGClasssssssssssssssssss disssssssssssssssssmisssssssssssed!

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