Let the dog in!

Here’s a story for Make Me Laugh Monday:

We were sitting outside, upstairs at the Seattle Aquarium’s cafe. (Good thing Kid picked the aquarium; we almost went here.)

Anyway, a sunny day, cool breeze, glistening waters of Puget Sound….an ahhhhh day we like to keep secret.

We had coloring books and crayons (Twistables–The Best) for when Kid stops torturing starfish, urchin and anemone.

In the crayon bag, she found three plastic gold coins, and she started “buying” crayons. Thus began our foray into the art of crayon haggling. Something every 4 year old should know, yes?

“How much for the blue one, Mommy?”

“Blue? Everyone loves blue. It’s 4 coins.”

“But I only have 3!” (shocked look)

“Don’t ever say what you have! Just start off low. Say ‘how about 2?’”

“How about 2?” (suddenly obedient)

“No, blue is very popular. (her eyes narrow in anger) It’s usually 4. But I can go ask my manager… (I cover my mouth, whisper to invisible manager)
She says today, there’s a special. You can have it for 3!”

“OK!” (victory! gives me coins, which I hand back for the next “sale”)

“How much for the red, Mommy? Say 10!”

“OK, 10.” (hey, her idea!)

“Ummm, how about 1?” (her blue eyes twinkle)

“Are you nuts? That’s too low. How about 9?” (giving my cocky Honda salesman face)

“OK!”

“But you don’t have 9, Kid. (lessons on loans and APR I’m not ready for) Say “2.” Only offer a little bit more, get me to come down.”

“OK. How about 2? Ask your boss, Mommy.” (already going over my head)

“2? The boss would never say okay.”

“Mom! Go ask your boss! Ask your BOSS!!”

“OK, OK….(another whispered conversation) She says no to 2, BUT since she knows you are a regular customer and get all your crayons from us, she says she’d take 3.”

(suddenly, I’m the Crazy Eddie of crayons)

“OK!” (Kid smugly throws coins at me)

Think I’ll bring Kid next time we buy a car.

When salesmen start the song and dance, she’ll yell, “GO ASK YOUR BOSS!!”

That’d move things along.

We could loan her out for other buyers, also. Too bad Jenny already bought her minivan.

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