Sunday, April 20th, 2008...9:10 pm
what is YOUR job title?
While I’m at the eye doctor’s the other day, I had to fill out a new form on medical information since over a year had passed from the previous exam.
I’m looking at what I filled out before. No medicine allergies, no cataracts. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Then I read, Occupation: homemaker.
Huh?
In my OWN handwriting. In 2006, that’s what I wrote. Not 1956.
WTH was I thinking? What medication was I on?
If that is, in fact, my job, I suck. My house is wreck. I hardly ever wear an apron. Let’s face it, I hardly ever clean, so who needs the apron? Even my pearls are collecting dust in their box, if that’s possible.
If I am supposed to be making a home, big or small, I also suck at art projects and home construction projects.
I’m in deep doo-doo in the “homemaker” arena.
How did I even manage to GET this job?
Oh, yeah. HIM.
Isn’t it better for us all to use the term “SAHM”?? It’s quick to write, although not to say. But those are the kind of trade-offs we SAHM’s have to deal with.
That’s right, mister. I am focused on my child, so don’t look at the state of my house!
My child DOES occupy me. She IS my occupation, such as it is. With no salary increases, no workers comp for my aches and pains, and no paid vacation. Heeeeey, I haven’t really had much vacation from this Kid, er, job for the whole four and a half years. That’s GOT to be a violation of something.
No?
I can only hope this job pads my resume nicely as a stepping stone to my next job which based on Kid’s tendencies I’m guessing will be. . .
.
.
PAROLE OFFICER. 
What’s your current job title?
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13 Comments
April 20th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Very true and funny!
April 21st, 2008 at 7:02 am
Funny! I wish someone had thought of SAHM when my sons were small. Now that my sons are grown, should I answer - retired SAHM?
I’ve always been one of those people who has a bunch of different projects going on - some for profit and some not. The little space provided on most forms won’t accomodate a lengthy explanation of how I spend my time. Perhaps I should write up my activities for the previous month, and say “see attached.”
April 21st, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Homemaker! Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in a while! Love the picture, by the way. Is the red glow supposed to be you viewing it through rose-colored glasses? Or are you SEEING RED?!
April 21st, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Current job title? Um . . . what’s the title of the person in charge of making sure the lunatics don’t escape the asylum? Cuz that’s probably closest for me . . .
April 21st, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I’m just leavin’ the job title blank, man. Jobs are for the stiff bourgeois types. It’s all about free-spirit, make love not . . . well, heck, just make love. (Crap, maybe that’s why I’ve got so many blasted kids.)
You’ve seriously got to google “Paul Overstreet Homemaker.” This will be your new theme song. I suggest having your dh memorize it and serenade you. Try to find a link with audio so you can get the full effect with the country twang.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:27 am
So true and so funny.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Brooke, I just read the lyrics to that Homemaker song and almost barfed a little.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:49 am
My business card says: “Local news copy editor.”
I usually describe myself as “night news editor.” Or “grammar jihadist.”
Have you and your husband ever talked about trading places? He can be a SAHD and you can go back into the working week? What are the arguments for and against such a switch?
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:12 am
Hmmm, Jim, trying to start a war in my house?
A big argument against would be that I a)hated my job and b)never worked in this state before and c)would probably make less money with more crankiness.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I have three year old twins. My job title is “referee”.
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:58 pm
My job title is seat warmer. I’m REALLY good at that.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Ah, my husband put that on our tax returns a few days ago. I was looking over them to sign them recently and it clearly said, “Homemaker.”
I called him on it in outrage and irritation. I mean I did not get a political science degree from Berkeley to be called homemaker. Right? Ack.
He kindly reminded me that that was what I told his to use on the year before’s tax return.
Gah! Irrational and bad memory. And yes, my house is a mess and pearls haven’t graced my neck since probably my wedding.
April 24th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
it’s funny how we block out our “homemaker” usage….
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