Monthly Archives: February 2008

My Bainbridge Island police blotter

Posted on February 28, 2008 by wendy| 8 Comments

February 23:
Officers were called to the residence, a site of a possible manmouseslaughter. A match to the tire tread imprint was immediately found on the resident’s Toyota automobile. “IF I did it, it was an accident. I didn’t have anything against him,” the woman claimed. However, after officers searched the garage, a sleeping bag with the woman’s initials was discovered with holes and mouse droppings were found in the vicinity. The woman was taken to the station for booking, and being considered a flight risk, she is being held without bail.

“I know she’s had a lot of pent-up anger lately. I just hope she gets the help she needs,” her husband said as the officers left. “I like to think a mouse can get a fair shake in this neighborhood, especially the poor, defenseless babies.

mouse.JPG

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Posted in animals, me-me-me, weirdo

Learn-A-Word Wednesday: ersatz \AIR-sahts; UR-sats\

Posted on February 27, 2008 by wendy| 3 Comments

adjective:

Being a substitute or imitation, usually an inferior one.

Then there was the sheaf of hostile letters larded with ersatz sympathy, strained sarcasm or pure spite.
– “Time for GAA to become a persuader”, Irish Times, April 13, 1998

Ersatz derives from German Ersatz, “a substitute.”

This word would be great to remember when you’re stuck with a “z” near the end of Scrabble. Maybe you’re thinking “tears” or “rates” and you have that dumb “z” to get rid of somewhere…..doh! “Ersatz”!!! Shoots and scores! (that’s for Dad who’s watching basketball a lot lately)

Not that you’d use this word in actual conversations with actual people.

Although I was feeling sick earlier this week, employing her “horizontal parenting” techniques, and perhaps that might have been ersatz parenting….?

Are you doing an ersatz version of anything?

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Posted in words

Do you think there is too much violence on TV?

Posted on February 25, 2008 by wendy| 8 Comments

A friend’s 4 year-old daughter recently listened to a story about her mother’s grandma, who she was, what she liked. The usual stories.

Then she asked, “where IS Grandma now?”

“Well, Grandma got very old, and she died,” her mother replied matter-of-factly.

“She did??”

“Yes,” said the mom, bracing herself for The Discussion of death and dying.

“Who SHOT her??”

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Posted in Bainbridge Island, WA, growth, kid

Blogging away to nothing: blogging tips I hate

Posted on February 22, 2008 by wendy| 11 Comments

I’m having trouble writing anything lately. I think I’ve been reading too much blogging advice, and it just depresses me. Did you bloggers out there know these things?

1. Posting every day is passe — just clutters up people’s readers. Work the system, I say.

2. No one cares what I had for lunch. Great. How about breakfast? That might be interesting. No? In that case, I got nothing.

3. No one wants long scrolling first pages. It’s all about the “click here to read more” button. Well, Mister Smartypants, where’s all my sidebar crap supposed to go?

4. Offer your readers VALUE. Great. See #2 above.

5. Everyone loves Photoshopped stuff (OK, I don’t actually have a link for this theory, but everyone DOES love her, him, her, and her, so it must be true!). More trouble. I don’t know how to Photoshop because I don’t own Photoshop. I know, I’m lame. Or lazy. Or both.

Do you follow these tips? Do you follow any helpful, non-depressing blogging tips?

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Posted in me-me-me, scratchings

hey, you there, check it out!

Posted on February 21, 2008 by wendy| 3 Comments

Many bloggers know there are awesome blogs and things out there, floating free for your perusal. You may have seen those lists of blogs that you may not read but should. Me, I get overwhelmed by that. If you list more than, say, 2 things, that’s 1 too many new pieces of information for me to retain. Unlike water, I have trouble retaining information. For, like, the last 4 years. Hey, that’s how old my Kid is.

Assuming I click all the links, my brain gets fried. Now which one was the funny one? the inspirational one? the shoppers one? the one that showed how to make a GOOD ponytail (where WAS that one??)?

So, in honor of lame brains like me, I’ve decided from time to time I may tell you about ONE blog or website or podcast that’s new and cool to me. I’ll call it my CHECK IT OUT feature (and I WILL be using CAPITAL LETTERS).

This first one to CHECK OUT, Vinyl Cafe podcasts, was inspired by the fact that I WAS just going to email a few friends and family about it. Then, I heard this popping sound, and a voice in my brain whispered snippily: DUH, you have A BLOG!

stuart_nfld.jpgVinyl Cafe, a fictional record shop with the motto “We may not be big, but we’re small.” Maybe you’ve heard of it. It plays on NPR in Seattle on Sunday afternoons. If you can’t tune in, download the free podcasts. They have true and fictional stories, musical guests and great fun, all before a live audience. While listening, you can pretend you’re in the pre-tv/all radio shows era (not that there’s anything wrong with tv, don’t get me WRONG! I could watch the Bravo channel all day long….I could, but I’d never do that! Huh.). Host Stuart McLean is a brilliant writer/performer. His stories lift you up with laughter and then wrap you in warm fuzzies. I want to be like him when I grow up. Plus, he has a cute Canadian accent.

CHECK IT OUT! Then come back and tell me that you love me it.

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Posted in brilliant ideas, life is good, scratchings

Learn-A-Word Wednesday: caterwaul \KAT-uhr-wawl\

Posted on February 20, 2008 by wendy| 2 Comments

intransitive verb:

1. To make a harsh cry.
2. To have a noisy argument.
3. A shrill, discordant sound.

John met Angela head-to-head and there was a lot of bellowing and caterwauling.
– Matthew Parris, “Prescott grapples with his feminine side”, Times (London), December 14, 2000

Caterwaul is from Middle English caterwawen, “to cry as a cat,” either from Medieval Dutch kater, “tomcat” + Dutch wauwelen, “to tattle,” or for catawail, from cat-wail, “to wail like a cat.”

So you probably knew this word. But did you know how to spell it? And did you know it could be used in ways other than “quit your caterwauling, child!!”? You say this, right? It’s up there with “what’s all the foofaraw?!” around here.

Okay, I may be weird.

I just hope that there is not too much caterwauling here later today (unless there is an actual CAT wailing) when I will try yet again for a blood-free, bruise-free playdate between two four-year-old girls.

Got any caterwauling goin’ on at your place?

Hearos, anyone? It’s the bulk pack.

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Posted in words

Here’s what we’ve learned about Hot Tamales:

Posted on February 18, 2008 by wendy| 9 Comments

ht.jpgFirst, I noticed the “movie size” box on sale at the drug store this week. Such value! BUY!

Second, turns out Kid likes them, too. EAT! Initially, I felt proud. Such spicy things she’s eating, yes, sugary, but also SPICY! OLE!

Third, when left to her own devices while we slept in (barely), Kid liking the HT so MUCH eats almost the WHOLE large-enough-for-a-hamster-family (or at least a baby mouse) box. UGH!

Fourth, later, after swimming and playing, Kid’s stomach aches and aches and ACHES. Severe Hot Tamale poisoning! OUCH!

Fifth, partially digested Hot Tamales, not so hot. But, still with the pinkish tint. On the bedspread. YUCK!

Q: What moral to the story have we gleaned?

A: HIDE the Hot Tamales.

(what? is there another moral?)

A2: SUE Hot Tamales for no warning label?

(what?)

Laugh or cry, one of those.

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Posted in food, kid