Monthly Archives: June 2007

the rest of the A list of “not invited’s” to Her Party—

–dining table (she banged her head emerging from underneath it)

–edge of the wall at the doorway to the kitchen (she crashed into it running around the corner)

–dog (for eating her banana bread which was left on a plate on the floor)

–Daddy (for….what was it this time? not getting home fast enough from his work trip to bring her a present when she wanted one)

So, I am in good company. Given the list, looks like her party will be held outside. If her parents are not invited, then who will be in charge? A babysitter, she said. Wonder if she’s got enough money in that turtle bank….. She does have two more months to save. And to make new lists.

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ooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu!

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See the lunar calendar to the right, below.

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When there are clouds, in the sky, you’ll get by….

If you smile, through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and there’ll be tomorrow…

So, I get up this morning, see the wetness outside, feel blah, and as I am making my cup of green tea, I look out the window to see these guys. Smiling.

See them?
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They look like regular flowers up close, but from a distance, they look like two little smiley faces popping out, holding their own private joke (are you laughing at me??). They keep smiling.

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I have not decided yet if I should rip their smirky little heads off or leave them be. Smiling.

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lordy, lordy

Here’s the deal. I can get a break for a week in the mornings, clean, write, pick my nose, or do other exercise, whatever. The price, $25, is right. A bargain like no other bargains. The trade-off? It would entail sending my Kid to a bible camp to learn about God’s word. Hm.

What, you say, are you OOYM (out of your mind)?? $25!! 15 hours of peace and calmness (while awake).

It’s not that I am anti-God. I am all for God, Godliness (even more than cleanliness judging by my house), His Creations, the whole tamale. But what if they preach to her and she comes home preaching to me?? Stuff like “mommy, you shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain” or “mommy, kicking the dog is not how to treat God’s creature”…. Or worse, what if she comes back with questions? Questions regarding religious topics for which, as someone who stopped going to church thirty years ago, I have no answer.

I could fall back on the tried-and-true method: wait til your father gets home! Daddy has answers. I may have the law degree, but he’s got a master’s in b.s.!

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well, YOU’RE not invited to MY party!

This is the latest threat by our preschooler. Beats flinging a half-eaten banana across the room. Cleaner, too.

I have been disinvited and reinvited countless times now. Finally, I said she’d have a small party with no cake if I am not invited. As in, no one, nothing. She replied that Daddy and she did not need me, except that he does not know how to make a cake (she said it!).

She has quite unkindly informed adults, kids, dogs, spiders, and random strangers at whom she was p.o.’d that they too were not invited to her party. Is this better than hitting, kicking or biting? I”m not sure. Some days, her party list is blue whale long; other days, not so much. She provided me with several pages of “notes” for her party – a page of cake recipe scribbles, another of a decorations list, etc. A regular Colin Cowie, only slightly less bitchy (usually).

When is this party, you ask? Not until the end of August. We (I) have a lot more blacklisting to go….. I can’t wait until she’s mad at herself about something.

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kip /kɪp/

(Chiefly British)
–noun 1. a place to sleep; bed.
2. sleep.
–verb (used without object) 3. to sleep or nap.

[Origin: 1760–70, in sense “brothel”]

Sorry to be slow getting more Scrabble-worthy little words out. Here is a good one for us all to covet. Ah, to kip, perchance to dream; I never get to kip enough in my own kip; oh, honey, how about a long kip??

All warmed up now for those Scrabble invitations to come rolling in……. :D

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a snapshot from my dating life…..

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Ah, those were the days. If I’ve learned nothing since then, it’s how to make someone else pay! And pay. And pay.

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