Monthly Archives: May 2007

1. If you go the “let them run around naked outside in the summer” route, your child may develop a penchant for ONLY doing it outside. For example, they are playing inside, minding their own business for once, and wham! that urge strikes. Clothes are ripped off and next thing you know, your child is running into the yard to squat. You can only hope she has been using the back yard. Beware condo owners. The association does not appreciate the equivalent activity in your hallways.

2. Even though they may fully master the process, emotionally they may still use their immaturity against you, as in the “vengeful pee.” This pee (or it could be #2, also, depending on the temperament of the child) is exhibited when the child is alone, being punished somehow, possibly in her room. She could come out to the bathroom, she could even use the little potty in her room, but NO, she takes off her clothes and opts for the floor. Is this an “accident”? Was the Titanic an “accident” or just a series of very bad decisions….?

3. Assuming your child comes to appreciate the convenience of an actual potty, she may also come to realize that while there is plenty of soft, white Charmin available, there also happens to be soft, large TOWELS hanging in the bathroom, which although slightly farther away, become the preferred choice of wipes. Really, who wouldn’t rather use a towel? Anyone who would not have to do the laundry, I’d say.

No books I read on training, and yes, I read a lot, discussed these issues. I don’t have answers for you, let alone myself, but felt I should warn the rest of you, particularly with summer approaching and yard option being what it is. Good luck and I’ll see you in the detergents aisle at the grocery store!

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1. You squeeze hand lotion onto your toothbrush.
2. You find your fresh mug of tea, ice cold and untouched, five hours after you made it.
3. You find your toothbrush, complete with actual toothpaste, at bedtime from when you prepared it that morning.
4. You can’t finish the laundry because it is too f$%#@’ing heavy to move those wet clothes from the washer into the dryer (and you have a stack system with the washer on top).
5. Your child is eating a popsicle at 8:42am while wearing your newest necklace and scarf because you have been awake together for over two and a half hours and you surrendered.
6. The baby swing at the park, back and forth, back and forth, lulls you to sleep, standing up, again.
7. You find that mug of tea in the microwave Tuesday after you reheated it Monday.

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