Let the dog in!

I have been knitting. And reknitting. After making scarves, I am once again attempting a hat for Kid. Hoping some “ownership” would keep this hat on her head, we went to the store together (which took bravery on my part since she peed on their floor last time–she was discrete, in the corner, but no one tells you about THESE potty training issues) and she selected the color she liked. A few rows into this new exercise, for some reason, I don’t know why, too much wine, not enough, anyway, I started thinking about a mysterious and heretofore untried thing called “gauge.” I picked up a book. I recalled the last hat. Kid not so gently pointed out the “size deficiency” of mommy’s first hat attempt.

So I make a swatch to measure my stitching. What a pain! Because I am knitting in the round, the book recommended cutting the edge string at each end to slide the swatch to the other end since I did not have the right length of circular cord, so I ended up with a Rastafarian-looking rectangle of yarn, only without the good drugs. Which I needed at this point.

But all of this, I imagine, is small potatoes compared to what you must do to knit a sweater for a dolphin. Have you heard of these women? They are protesting with knitting needles, but no one is getting the Goldie Hawn jab in Foul Play. In fact, I read they were “symbolically” knitting in protest. While I applaud their protest (especially the more I read about the traumatized dolphins previously used by the Navy) and I commented about the Navy’s proposal, how does symbolic knitting work? Are they really knitting, but it is symbolic of gathering us all together on an issue? Or is the knitting itself symbolic? I hope the knitting part is real. I’d like to see a sweater made for a dolphin. I wonder what the gauge looks like for that.

And, by the way, what about the sea lions proposed for this plan? Who is knitting for them? They won’t be cold in these waters but could still be traumatized, right? Rather than have a twitchy, nervous sea lion, I am afraid their version of trauma would entail morphing into the ocean version of Mad Max. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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