Let the dog in!

I went for a regular eye exam checkup the other day. Yes, it had been a while. I am never impressed by what they do or say. Better? Worse? One? Two? One? Two? So, as if it was a birth control pill, I went when my prescription was about to expire which was quite a while ago. Let’s just say the last time I was dilated, it had nothing to do with my eyeballs. I recalled the ol’ days when you got your eyes dilated. Such care was involved. Warnings were issued about not reading afterwards, taking it easy, even special Ray Charles glasses were given out and someone drove you home. Granted, someone always drove you home; you were twelve. So, I assumed things changed when there were no warnings, and in fact, they said I could put my contacts back in right away. I assumed a) the drops did not hurt anymore and b) the dilation solution wore off faster now. Wrong and wrong. When I put my contacts in, I could not see up close and could not feel anything in my eyes. I prayed the lenses did not squish out and fall on the floor since the only things I could make out about the floor was the general shape and color of my shoes. Naturally, I gathered my things and got in the car. I could definitely make out the larger items around, like delivery trucks, but I was a little iffy on the smaller things, like high school students. So, what did I do? Did I slowly go home? No, I ran some errands, of course! Here’s what I learned: you cannot read the computer screen of the automated postal machine after an eye exam, and you cannot read labels in the grocery store. So I grabbed the largest carton that said “MILK” and hoped it was not goat’s milk (no offense, goats) and hoped it was not going to expire the next day. THEN, I very carefully drove home.

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