We had another conversation here at chez Let the dog in! illustrating the differences between the Hubs and yours truly’s marriage and others’ wedded bliss. It all came up after I went shoe shopping with a friend.
She bought some super cute (waterproof! yay!) boots but wanted to know the store’s returns policy.
In case her husband didn’t like them.
HUH?
If I came home with boots I was feeling da love for and the Hubs made a funny face or said, hmmmmm, not great, I’d say, “You don’t know shit about fashion, you dirtwad how great they feel!”
I came by this bitchiness attitude honestly, I can tell you. We haven’t discussed this issue, but I can already hear my mother’s retort: “In case he didn’t like them?? What, is he going to be wearing them?”
This concept of actually giving a shit caring what your spouse thinks, well, it’s as foreign to me as mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches (Just because they are good separately, doesn’t mean you get to do this! You know who you are!). It’s like those Facebook friends who claim to hold hands with their spouses at home, when no one is looking.
In what alternative universe is this stuff happening? Next, you’ll tell me married couples are also knitting together or taking dance classes voluntarily.
It’s just difficult for me to believe that all of ya’ll in Texas, where I was raised, would ever cotton to such shenanigans.
But a tiny yes-virginia-there-is-a-santa part of me realized last night, that those wives live each day knowing what their husband’s honest opinion is on any given topic. They offer understanding and respect to the person they’re spending the rest of their life with.
Someone must be speaking their thoughts and feelings out loud, and someone must be listening.
In our 8 years of marriage, this is a strategy I haven’t really tried before, hearing and honoring his words. Hmmmmmm, I bet that’d make him feel good, needed, validated, and whatever else Oprah’s discussing.
And when someone feels like that, well, they return that gift of giving, don’t they?
Maybe then he’d buy me some new boots!
Okay, readers, raise your hand if you want your husband’s honest opinion on your fashion choices!